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Rated: 13+ · Monologue · Animal · #2007466
Some thoughts for using Jackrabbit milk as an energy drink.
These days there is such a high demand for what are commonly thought of as energy drinks. Too many of them are

loaded with sugar and caffeine, and are nowhere near being the "Natural" that they claim to be. In response to what I see as a

potential health problem in America today, I've hatched an idea that could be an answer. Maybe not The answer, but at least it's

better than what's on the market today. This idea of mine involves Jackrabbits. Tall, long and lean, wiry Jackrabbits that live

in the desert Southwest. Female ones. Lactating female Jackrabbits.

First thing I need to do is travel to the Arizona desert down around either Pima or maybe Cochise county. Then I need to find

out how to tell, from a distance by using binoculars, the males from the females before I set off chasing them down. My guess is

it'll be hard enough capturing these beasts without wasting time and energy on the wrong ones. I need to stick with catching

females. They'll be housed in a nice, barn-type setting with plenty of good, nutritious food (Purina Rabbit Chow?), all the cool and

and clean water they could ever want, air conditioning, access to an outdoor area. The place will be like rabbit-heaven on earth,

and they'll never want to leave.

Next thing I'll have to figure out is a way to milk them each morning without first chasing them, one by one, all around the

barn and recapturing them again, and avoid getting bit and kicked and scratched like I bet is going to happen when I take

them out of the wild to begin with. Some research will need to be done to see if there's a company anywhere that builds milking

machines that will fit on a rabbit. A jackrabbit. You know, like those machines they put on cows? Something like that. Either

that or higher some dwarfs because they have those tiny hands that can be used to manually milk the rabbits. And I don't

know any dwarfs. And I have to learn how to keep the captured female jackrabbits producing milk.

I'll need to do some marketing research and planning so there's a retailer all lined up and ready to sell the stuff in their

store. Jackrabbit Milk. Guaranteed to make a person run very far and very fast, just like a wild jackrabbit. No additives or

preservatives or sugar. No caffeine, either. Now that I think of it, maybe there should be some testing done first. Since it's

my idea, that pretty much volunteers me as the test subject. That's my idea for the new energy drink. Watch for it in your

nearest Natural Food store and remember, you saw it here first.
© Copyright 2014 Allen James (thirty3fifty3 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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