Writer's Cramp Contest Winner 02/06/2015
|My car disappeared into a sinkhole,
The next day I bought another one,
The insurance paid the bill in full,
This poem should've then been done.
But no, the replacement's a lemon,
Sometimes this pig wouldn't start,
Hoping the bad vibes to lessen,
I opened the soft side of my heart.
"Dear Mr. Manager," I asked softly,
"Won't you please either fix or replace?"
He answered me back quite rudely,
"You better get up out of my face."
"Get up out of your face?" I gasped
"I didn't stutter," he fired back,
"Why are you being so mean," I asked,
This dude must be strung out on crack.
"I got no time to waste on a fool,
You took your chances and lost,"
He growled, "I'll grab myself a tool,
But you'll pay what the repairs cost."
"Sir," I spoke calmly and in control,
"It's surely easy to understand..."
He said, "Whiny babies I'll not console,
Whiny babies get the back of my hand."
This poor excuse for a human being,
With social skills worse than King Kong,
Forced me to change my thinking,
I climbed on his case, loud and strong.
"You don't know with whom your dealing,
You'd best treat me right by the law,
Else your business I'll be legally stealing,"
Then I saw him take out a rabbit's paw.
"I'm sorry," he whimpered, "it's all I got.
I'm sorry for getting up in your face,
Pick out any brand new car on the lot,
I'll take the lemon in its place."
Sometimes you need to make things right,
Evaluate the situation in a snap,"
Though moths are attracted to the brightest light,
You'll always catch more flies with crap.