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Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2053073
Big volleyball fish in a small pond puts a big foot in his mouth.
Word Count: 360

When I was a youth I was into sports. I played basketball for my highschool and volleyball with my church youth group during the winter. During the summer I played softball and did a lot of cycling. Helped keep me in good shape.

For the church youth volleyball team I was an out-sized talent. Six foot five and quite agile, I was a little erratic as a spiker, but when I got a hold of one, look out. In truth I was a better blocker than spiker, the rest of my game was not well developed. I had potential to be a very good highschool player, with some work, but in our church league, I was a terror weapon.

For the most part, I was an asset to the team. Frustration with perceived lack of support and the occasional bout with ball hogging led to a few not so stellar moments.

The most memorable and embarrassing moment is worth a mention now that we can all look back and laugh about it.

I believe we were playing guests from another city, mopping the court with them. I wasn't happy though. Our opponents knew from previous experience to never hit anything low over the net near Pico, because it would come back exceeding the national speed limit. Better yet hit it as far away from him as possible. My teammates of course seemed incapable of setting up any kind of play for me to showcase my spike.

I started out shouting encouragement to my friends but things slowly devolved into a disgruntled appeal for someone to set the ball up for me. "C'mon! Set it up!" wasn't getting me anywhere and somewhere along the way I switched to the phrase "Let's have some sets!" Maybe it was the raised eyebrows that made me think I might be getting through with that so I kept bellowing that phrase.

People were starting to look at me funny. Worse they seemed to be hearing me but doing their level best to ignore me. That of course only made me louder.

Finally my younger brother with a complete look of exasperation walked back to me and said, "Will you shut up. It sounds like you're yelling, let's have some sex!"

That put the gag in my foghorn. I was real quiet after that.
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