A short story about a woman who is Empty.
I saw him from a distance as he tries on a tie. He notices me! I quickly turn and act as if I was looking at the rack in front of me. I look up and he's looking at me, so we stare at each other. He smiles, so I smile back. He's about 6'2, dark hair with piercing light brown eyes and pearly white teeth with an athletic build. Oh, he's a beauty! He waves as he continues to talk to the sales lady. It's like he's haunting me with his movements, it's slow motion like a movie you can't stop watching.
But soon reality hits me, I can't keep staring because my mother is now approaching and Lord knows I don't want her thinking I have wondering eye's. Because yes, I have a loving husband who adores and loves me to death so this behavior is bad, yes very bad. I take a deep breath and continue as if nothing. The cashier rings up my mother's items as I try to look discreet around the store for the beautiful specimen God has placed in my presence but he has disappeared, I'm disappointed. At times I wonder is it a test from God? Is it the devil playing a sick joke on me? Wait! Nothing is wrong with looking, right? I mean, men do it everyday behind their wives backs, right? Oh, who am I kidding I need to stop.
In deep thought I glance down near the register and notice there's a wallet. So, of course I pick it up and take a glance and low and behold it's Prince Charming, Baron Leal. Yes, that name fits him to a tee! It makes me smile. Because now I have a photo of him and his address, but of course I would never show up to his home because I'm a married woman and that just wouldn't be good. Or, I could give it to the cashier but from the looks of it she doesn't look very helpful, she looks really unhappy and stressed out and most likely she'll give it to lost and found and we all know how that goes. So, I'll just keep it with me and figure out what to do with it later.
Days, weeks, even months go by and I live my life as if nothing because granted, nothing is going on in my life other than my husband, who is successful and loving and the best thing that's ever happened to me, but he doesn't really do it for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm never leaving him because I can't afford to lose him plus who else would put up with me. It's just he's either too nice or too giving or just too adorable and that bores the hell out of me. I need something different. My mother thinks I'm crazy because my husband is just like my father. She loves this life, but I don't. Being taken care of and given the world, if I ask for it. I need spice in my life and being with Darian is like watching paint dry and I only have so many hours in a day. Any woman would die to be with him because he has every quality any woman would want in a man but frankly I'm not that attracted to him, in a physical sense.
At times I wonder is something wrong with me because other woman find him to die for. But you like what you like, I guess. He's even one of the best lawyer's in town and people talk about him as if he's the best thing since sliced bread or God making heaven and earth. But no matter how much he does for me or how many trips I take with my girlfriend's that he pays for or how big my house is or how many dream cars I have, it's still not enough and if you've ever not been attracted to someone, then you know all the monetary things in the world couldn't make up for it. Maybe I need counseling but counselors only listen and eventually you end up giving yourself advice while paying a stranger who is probably drawing a photo of something perverted and pretending like they're writing notes about your life. But whatever it is, I'm sure it will go away someday.
Lately, I've been having dreams about a woman walking in a pool of blood with black stiletto's on, holding a knife but every time her face is about to be revealed Darian is waking me up. He says all I do is toss and turn in my sleep and talk, but he can't make out what I'm saying. But I disregard it as nothing, because I once read somewhere dreams are just things from your past or something you've watched before going to bed and I love horror films and watch them most nights. Anyway, I sit in my vanity room and fold clothes as the news plays on the television which I hate because it's always about something negative, never positive. It annoys me, so I turn and begin watching Real Housewives of somebody's County because I rather watch these woman lives fall apart, hell it makes me happy. But as I'm folding clothes I feel something in my robe pocket but before I can remove it, I'm distracted by a phone call from one of my close friends Carmen asking me to join her and one of my other friends Rebecca for lunch. We talk for a bit then I hurry to get ready to meet with them. Hanging with my girlfriends has always been like a breath of fresh air, they're like sisters to me and I love them. At lunch Rebecca talks about how her 5 month old twin daughters Sunny and Winter does all these little cute things everyday and Carmen talks about how she's been going out on dates for the past couple weeks with different guys and I envy her so much, I hate it. But I smile and pretend as if my life is perfect.
Back at home later that night I cook dinner for my husband because to him and the rest of the world, I'm the perfect wife.
"Hey sweetie missed you all day." Darian say's to me as he kisses my forehead and sits next to me at the dinner table. I lean in for his kiss.
"How was your day?" I ask him in my sweet innocent wife voice.
"It was good, busy but good. How was lunch with your girlfriends?"
"It was the usual they talk, I listen." we laugh. "So any new cases today?"
"No, but did you watch the news today?"
I wonder why would he be asking about the news, he knows how much I hate the news.
"Baby, you know how much I hate the news."
"I know sweetie but it's been everywhere. A man was found dead in his apartment over the weekend and they can't determine how long he's been dead." All I'm saying is be careful it's a lot of crazy's in the world and trust me, I deal with them everyday."
"So, what did they say happened to him?"
"Well his throat was slashed and according to investigators he apparently had sex with the suspect before it happened. What a sick person to do that" Darian looks horrified and worried. "That's the third man found dead within the past six months."
"That is horrible and sad. Well, you never really know who you're dealing with." I say emotionless because I really don't care.
"Sweetie, what are you talking about, I know you." Darian says as he leans into kiss me on my cheek and grabs my hand from the table.
"Are you done eating because I'm going to take a shower, I've lost my appetite." I stand up from the table to grab our plates.
"I'm sorry, I know how much you hate talking about the news, did I upset you?" He says in concern.
"No, I'm just tired."
"Ok, well when I finish dinner I'll wash the dishes so you can get your rest." There he goes being Mr. Perfect again.
"Ok." I say and leave the kitchen and head to my bedroom closet. I sit on my fainted chair and stare at my floor in a daze but I notice my robe laying across the top of my chair and I remember earlier there was something in the pocket, so I grab it and dig inside to see what it is. It's the photo ID of Mr. Prince Charming, Baron Leal.
"Lake!" Darian yells for me from downstairs and it startles me.
"Yeah!" I yell back.
"They even said the suspect left the victims wallet but his ID was missing!"
I look across the room and see my black stiletto's.