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Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Comedy · #2071022
Birgitte's students work on the school newsletter; Ms. Ausderau’s students pulls a prank
METTE AND CO. - EPISODE 2

Mette makes changes to the school newsletter




Act 1 Scene 1- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - FIRST PERIOD
A Swedish student in Ms. Harland's class writes on the whiteboard.

(Arriving early for her first period class, Astrid walks in to see one other student and no teacher. She decides to pass the time by writing on the whiteboard.)
(A few minutes before class starts, Ms. Harland and Mrs. Christensen walk in to see the following on the whiteboard as the Swedish students start laughing.

WHY SWEDEN RULES

1. We gave the world IKEA.

2. We have the largest population of all the Nordic countries.

3. We have the best meatballs.

4. We have the longest life expectancy in Europe.

5. We have the most nuclear power in the world. Trust us, you don't want to tick us off.)

ASTRID
I'd pay close attention to number five if you know what's good for you.

MS. CHRISTENSEN
Very funny, Swedes.

SANDRA
(To Pernille)
We so have to respond to this.

PERNILLE
(To Sandra)
Don't worry. First, let's pick on the Norwegians. I owe Kaja a joke.


Act 1 Scene 2- Journalism Class


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - SECOND PERIOD
Birgitte's class begins work on the monthly newsletter.

(At the beginning of class, Birgitte starts to explain the task of writing the school newsletter.)

BIRGITTE
(To class)
Even though this is a school newsletter, in addition to school news, I will give you some room for personal articles.

METTE
(To Solveig, with a mischievous smile)
Så kun jeg skrive om hvor mye en taper min far er.

BIRGITTE
(To Mette)
No insulting other people in the school newspaper.

METTE
(Disappointed)
Dæven

RUNE
(To Birgitte)
What about our phone numbers?

BIRGITTE
No personal ads!

RUNE
You're really taking the fun out of this.


Act 1 Scene 3- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - SECOND PERIOD
Inspired by her classmate in her previous class, Pernille teases the Norwegians.

(When Pernille and her friend walk into her second period classroom, she notices the teacher is not yet there.)

PERNILLE
(Rubbing her hands together mischievously)
Excellent.
(Pernille proceeds to write on the whiteboard. Meanwhile her friend looks on.)

SANDRA
Are you sure our teachers won't be offended? They ARE Norwegian.

PERNILLE
Come on. It's not like they don't have a sense of humor.

SANDRA
(In concerned voice)
Are you sure about that?
(As Pernille finishes writing, the other students walk in.)
(A few minutes later, Mrs. Johannessen and Mr. Moore walk in to see the following written on the whiteboard:

WHY DENMARK IS BETTER THAN NORWAY

If we want to go to Germany to hit all the beer places, we can just drive.

We have Caroline Wozniacki.

We have Tivoli.

We have the most fun tongue twister - rødgrød med fløde. Say THAT three times fast, Norwegians. >:)

We have the oldest flag. You just took our flag and added blue.

We were voted the happiest country in the world several times.

We owned you.)

MR. MOORE
Which one of you Danes wrote this?

MRS. JOHANNESSEN
Yeah, who wrote this crap?!
(The Danish students all point at Pernille.)

KAJA
(Sarcastically)
Ha ha, you got busted, Pernille.

PERNILLE
Traitors.

RUNE
(To Pernille)
Ha ha. You thought we were going to take the heat for you.

SØREN
Everyone knows Norwegians are better anyway.

PERNILLE
(To Søren)
I'll let you think that.

CHRIS
(To Kaja)
Ha ha, they even made fun of your flag.

KAJA
(To Chris)
That's okay. We can get them back real easy. Want to see Danes go crazy? Just let their flag touch the ground. They're insanely superstitious about their precious Dannebrog.

LÆRKE
Hey, keep your hands off our Dannebrog.
(In the meantime, Astrid takes a picture of the whiteboard and sends it to Mette. Mette soon responds.)

METTE
(To Astrid, texting)
Don't worry. I'll leave something special for them tomorrow.


Act 1 Scene 5- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - UNSPECIFIED TIME
Diana's third period students pick their first cooking assignment


MS. AUSDERAU
(To Alyona, Nienke, and Anneliese)
Have you decided what dessert you're going to make?

ANNELISE
(Enthusiastically)
Creme Brûlée

MS. AUSDERAU
(Concerned)
You realize you need a torch for that?

ALYONA
Of course. We do have torches in here, don't we?

MS. AUSDERAU
Yes, but are you sure you'd rather not make something else... something simpler?

ALYONA
Oh, no. We like a challenge. We're not afraid to play with fire.

MS. AUSDERAU
(Planting her face in her hand)
That's what I'm afraid of. (Pause) Don't make me regret this.

NIENKE
(Confidently)
You won't.
(Ms. Ausderau walks over to Dani, Nora, and Solveig's table.)

MS. AUSDERAU
And your group?

NORA
Flambéed bananas

MS. AUSDERAU
(To herself with her face in her hands)
I don't like where this is going.


Act 1 Scene 6- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - LATER IN THE DAY
Other teachers are speechless when they hear the students call Birgitte by her first name

(Birgitte is standing in the hallway talking with other teachers, when some of her students pass by.)

SOLVEIG
Hi, Birgitte.

MORTEN
Hi, Birgitte.

METTE
Hi, Birgitte.
(The other teachers stand there speechless as Mette, Morten, and Solveig continue down the hallway.)

BIRGITTE
Oh, they're just following Norwegian tradition. In Norway, everyone calls their teachers by first name.
(Further down the hallway...)

MORTEN
(To Mette and Solveig)
Ha ha, American teachers.


Act 1 Scene 7- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - UNSPECIFIED TIME
A student steals all the supplies from Ms. Ausderau's desk and sends a random note by email.

(Ms. Ausderau's catering class is about to begin in a few minutes. She walk into the classroom. She opens her desk to find that it is empty, except for a note that reads 'CHECK YOUR EMAIL'.)

MS. AUSDERAU
Ha ha. I'll play along.
(Ms. Ausderau checks her email. She notices an email from wheresmycrap@gmail.com.)

MS. AUSDERAU
Ha ha. (reads email out loud) If you want to see your precious supplies ever again, send $10 to this email address at PayPal.com.

MS. AUSDERAU
(To class)
Nice try.
(Seconds later, she gets another email.)

MS. AUSDERAU
(Reading email out loud)
Ok, five dollars.

MS. AUSDERAU
(To class)
No.
(She immediately gets another email.)

MS. AUSDERAU
(Reading email out loud)
At least give me some ice cream money.

MS. AUSDERAU
Fine you can have a dollar.


Act 2 Scene 1- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - UNSPECIFIED TIME
Mette gets revenge on the Danes.

(At the end of the class, Mette begins to write on the whiteboard.)

MR. MOORE
(To Mette)
What are you doing?

METTE
Leaving something for the Danes in the next class.

MR. MOORE
Continue.
(Mette quickly finishes writing before leaving for her next class.)
(The second class period students begin to walk in followed by Mrs. Johannessen. They are greeted by the following written on the whiteboard:

WHY NORWAY IS BETTER THAN DENMARK

We have the prettiest landscape.

Our pronunciation makes more sense.

You may have owned us, but look who has the biggest land now, suckers.

You accidentally gave us the biggest reserve of oil in the North Sea. Takk, Danmark. >:))
(Mrs. Johannessen looks at the whiteboard with a combination of astonishment and amusement.)

MR. MOORE
(To Mrs. Johannessen)
Your daughter wrote this.

PERNILLE
We're offended.

MR. MOORE
(To Pernille)
Ha ha, go have a seat.

KAJA
(To Pernille, grinning)
You just got owned.


Act 2 Scene 2- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - UNSPECIFIED TIME
Ms. Ausderau finds out that Edyta was behind yesterday's prank.

(On the way out the door after class, Kit stops by Ms. Ausderau's desk.)

KIT
(To Ms. Ausderau)
By the way, it was Edyta who stole all your supplies and sent that prank email.

MS. AUSDERAU
Aha! Thanks!


Act 2 Scene 3- Hallway Antics


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - FIRST PERIOD
Mette gets busted throwing a water balloon at Ms. Mervine from the hallway.

(In the middle of class, Mette raises her hand.)

MR. MOORE
Yes, Mette?

METTE
Can I use the restroom?

MR. MOORE
Go ahead.
(In the restroom, Mette pulls out a water balloon from her pocket. She proceeds to fill the balloon at the sink. When finished, she ties the water balloon and leaves the bathroom.)

METTE
(To herself)
Hehe.
(Approaching Ms. Mervine's classroom, she decides to throw the balloon inside the classroom. The balloon hits Ms. Mervine right in the side of her head.)

MS. MERVINE
(Angry)
Who threw that water balloon?!

ELENA
It came from the hallway.
(Ms. Mervine looks in the hallway to see Mette quietly laughing by the wall.)

MS. MERVINE
(To Mette, angry)
You think you're funny?!
(Ms. Mervine drags Mette back to her classroom.)
(Mr. Moore turns to see a soaked, angry Ms. Mervine standing with Mette at the doorway.)

MS. MERVINE
(Irritated)
This student here just threw a water balloon into my classroom.
(After class...)

METTE
(To Mr. Moore)
You're giving me detention?!

MR. MOORE
You threw a water balloon at a teacher! In my opinion, I'm letting you off easy. (Pause) Or would you rather I tell your mother about this?
(Mette takes a moment to think.)

METTE
I'll take the detention.


Act 2 Scene 4- Ásdís' Response


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - FIRST PERIOD
Ásdís brags on the whiteboard in Ms. Harland's class why Iceland is better.

(The next morning, Ms. Harland and Mrs. Christensen walk in to see the following on the whiteboard:

WHY ICELAND IS BETTER THAN DENMARK, NORWAY, AND SWEDEN

We have Björk.

Our language is so well preserved that we can still read the sagas from the 13th century.

We have an endless source of natural heat. Suck on your super high electric bill, Danes, Norwegians, and Swedes.

We're trilingual. In addition to Icelandic, we learn Danish and English in school.

We're the most resourceful. We can make anything edible.)

ASTRID
(Sarcastically)
Funny, Ásdís.


Act 2 Scene 5- Hjørdis' Turn


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - SECOND PERIOD
Hjørdis tries to outdo the other Scandinavians.

(Mrs. Johannessen and Mr. Moore walk in to see the following on the whiteboard:

WHY THE FAROESE ARE BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU

We have the best wool.

We still have the chain dance.

On the Faroes, everyone knows everybody.

You're not the only trilinguals, Icelanders. We also learn Danish and English at school.

We're a self governing territory of Denmark. That means we keep our own identity while we mooch off your government.
)

MRS. JOHANNESSEN
Seriously?

LASHONDA
Uh... what's a chain dance?

HJØRDIS
For you culturally deprived Americans, it's a medieval dance that survives only on the Faroe Islands.


Act 2 Scene 6- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - THIRD PERIOD
Nienke's group sets the kitchen on fire.

(Alyona, Anneliese, and Nienke are almost finished with making the Creme Brûlée. Nienke tries to light the torch, but to no avail.)

NIENKE
(To her group)
I think we got a dud.

NIENKE
(To Dani, Nora, and Solveig)
Is your torch working?

DANI
Yeah.

NIENKE
Can I borrow it?

NORA
Sure.
(Nora passes Nienke the torch. However, Nienke is unable to light this torch either.)

NORA
(To Nienke)
I think you're using it wrong. (Pause) You forgot to turn it on.

NIENKE
Oh.
(Nienke turns the torch on. Curiously, she turns the other torch in and finds that they both are functioning. She decides to use both at the same time.)

NIENKE
(Enthusiastically)
Look, Ms. Ausderau!
(As she is looking toward Ms. Ausderau, she does not realize that she is holding the torch on top of her textbook. When Ms. Ausderau looks in her direction, the entire textbook is engulfed in flames. Before she is able to grab the fire extinguisher, the fire alarm goes off.)

MS. AUSDERAU
(To the class)
Everyone leave. I'll turn everything off.
(As the class leaves, Ms. Ausderau puts out the fire with the extinguisher and turns off the stoves and ovens before leaving the classroom. She meets her students outside.)

MS. AUSDERAU
(To her class)
From now on, no one uses a blow torch to cook anything, except me.

MS. AUSDERAU
(To Nienke)
You're going to have to pay for a new textbook.

NIENKE
(Surprised)
I have to pay for it?


Act 2 Scene 7- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - LUNCH PERIOD
In the meantime, Mette gets revenge on the teachers by sneaking items into the monthly newsletter.

(During her lunch period, Mette sneaks into Birgitte's classroom. After having a seat at Birgitte's desk, she cracks the log in password and opens the file for November's newsletter. She proceeds to insert her USB stick and replaces the file containing the current newsletter with one of hers.)

METTE
(To herself)
That will teach them.
(Mette quietly leaves the room.)


Act 2 Scene 8- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - UNSPECIFIED TIME
Birgitte is in hot water after several teachers confront her about the newsletter.

(Birgitte looks out the door. Standing at the door are Ms. Eberhart, Ms. Harland, Mrs. Jacobs, Ms. Paredes, and Mr. Moore.)

MS. EBERHART
(To Birgitte)
We're not happy.

BIRGITTE
(Confused)
What are you talking about?

MS. HARLAND
(Angry)
The newsletter.

BIRGITTE
(Still confused)
Why?

MS. HARLAND
What do you mean why? Don't you read the newsletter before it gets printed?!

BIRGITTE
(Perplexed)
Yes. Everything looked fine.

MS. EBERHART
(Annoyed)
Then what's this?! (She hands Birgitte a copy of the printed newsletter.)
(Birgitte starts looking at the newsletter.)

BIRGITTE
(Surprised)
Oh my.

MS. EBERHART
She called me a cold hearted slave driver.

MS. HARLAND
She said my class was less entertaining than watching paint dry.

MS. JACOBS
She complained about the 'boring' literature I make the class read. (Pause) I don't pick the books.

MS. PAREDES
She said my assignments were 'muy estupido'.

MS. IVANOVA
I'm torn between being impressed with her level of Russian and the fact that she said that my class both sucks and blows. (Pause) Still trying to figure out how she learned those words.

MR. MOORE
She wrote something things about me in Norwegian that I won't translate in front of these women. (Pause) But of course, you can read it for yourself.
(Birgitte glances at the section being referred to.)

BIRGITTE
Oh yeah... definitely not translating that. (Pause) She must have changed the newsletter behind my back.


Act 2 Scene 9- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - UNSPECIFIED TIME
Ms. Johannessen confronts her daughter on the ride home about the newsletter.


MRS. JOHANNESSEN
(To Mette)
I know it was you that rewrote the newsletter.

METTE
What? It could have been anybody.

MRS. JOHANNESSEN
Funny, they must have the exact seven teachers as you. (Pause) Seriously, Mette, it was obvious. Tomorrow, you are going to apologize to each and every one of them.

METTE
(Pouting)
What happened to freedom of speech?


Act 2 Scene 10- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - UNSPECIFIED TIME
Mette complains to Alyona about a classmate

(During lunch, Mette decides to vent to Alyona about a classmate.)

METTE
(To Alyona)
There's this girl in my class, Marie, who's been trying to blackmail me. She keeps threatening to tell on me about the newsletter if I don't give her answers during tests. Thing is, she doesn't know that my mom already figured out it was me. So I've been having a little fun at her expensive. For example, in the last quiz we had, we had to name all the European countries. Number 2 was Spain. I told her it was Sweden. (Pause) Sucker.

ALYONA
Funny that you mention her. She's been trying to cheat off me in Math class. So annoying.

METTE
Fortunately, we happen to have a test tomorrow. (Grinning mischievously.) Time to teach someone a lesson.

ALYONA
Ha ha.


Act 3 Scene 1- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - UNSPECIFIED TIME
Ms. Ausderau 'rewards' Edyta by making her clean the kitchens for the entire class after their cooking assignment.


MS. AUSDERAU
(To class)
Before we begin our assignment, I would like to personally thank Edyta for the prank the other day.

EDYTA
(Stands up and bows)
Thank you. Or as they say in Polish, dziękuje.
(Edyta sits back down.)

MS. AUSDERAU
(To class)
Since Edyta is apparently rather bored in my class, I decided to help alleviate her boredom by having her clean all your kitchens after you are finished.
(Several 'woo-hoo's are heard from the class.)

KIT
Thank you, Edyta!

CANDACE
Thank you, Edyta!

FRITS
Don't worry, Edyta. I'll make sure to leave you a big mess.


Act 3 Scene 2- Untitled Scene


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - UNSPECIFIED TIME
The AP Geography class is taking a quiz.

(The AP Human Geography class is taking a quiz. The quiz reads: Name the capital of each country.)
(Marie gets stumped at the second question: Spain)

MARIE
(To Mette)
Pssst. What's number 2?

METTE
Stockholm.
(At number 4: Norway)

MARIE
(To Mette)
What's number 4?

METTE
Kristiansand.
(At number 5: Denmark)

MARIE
What's number 5?

METTE
Helsinki.
(At number 9: Ukraine)

MARIE
What's number 9?

METTE
Copenhagen.
(At number 11: Germany)

MARIE
What's number 11?

METTE
Reykjavik.
(At number 15: Iceland)

MARIE
What's number 15?

METTE
Oslo.
(At number 19: Portugal)

METTE
Acapulco.


Act 3 Scene 3- Alyona's Revenge


EXT. UNTITLED LOCATION - UNSPECIFIED TIME
Alyona's turn to get revenge on the cheating classmate

(In the meantime, Alyona has been plotting how to get even with Marie for looking over her shoulder to copy her answers during every test and quiz. Finally, she gets her opportunity several days later. She notices that Marie is trying to do her Russian homework during Math class.)

ALYONA
Let me help you with your Russian homework.

MARIE
Thanks.
(They get to the part that says: describe yourself in Russian.)

ALYONA
What would you like to say here?

MARIE
My name is Marie. I live with my parents and one brother in a big house. I like to go shopping with my friends. I am very popular.
(Alyona proceeds to write down a 'translation' for Katie.)

ALYONA
(To herself while writing)
Меня зовут Мария. Я живу с мамой, папой, и свой особенным другом. Я живу в доме наркотиков. Я люблю украсть. Я самая глупая человек в школе. (My name is Marie. I live with my mother, father, and their special friend. I live in a drug house. I like stealing. I am the stupidest person in the school.)

ALYONA
(To Katie)
Here you go.

MARIE
Thanks.

ALYONA
(Thinking)
Mwa ha ha ha
(After class, Alyona meets Mette in the hallway.)

ALYONA
(To Mette, with a mischievous grin)
I think a certain someone won't be asking me to 'help' her anymore.
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2071022