On the outside looking in

That elusive sense of achievement
oozes between the fingers
of my clenched fists,
slowly dribbling away
until only a faint stain remains.

Laughter and music
seep under the door,
slithering into the shadows
where I wait.

All that stands between us is
a juvenile dream
of playful protests
as you drag me in,

and a burning wall of resentment
that my absence hasn't dimmed your smile.
A test born of immaturity
and self doubt,
that you never even knew about
but failed anyway.

And I turn away,
with only myself to blame.