Some days you just feel lost, and nothing makes me feel better than writing away the pain.
|Why do I feel the way I do? Alone, sitting in a place that feels like eternal darkness, but truly I am in a bright room. Why I can't I tell apart reality from fiction, why is the world such a blur? When you loose the thing that kept you anchored, that kept you connected to the outside world, you feel lost. But why did he anchor me, when all he did was pull me away from the world I so dearly wanted to be apart of? I wanted happiness and connection with others around me, but instead I got just me and him, in a bright room. The lights shined into us like the stars, the stars I so badly wanted to see, but he insisted they were toxic. He encouraged me that I was the only light he needed, me depending on someone else was weak of me, was cowardly of me. But when he left, I was far more alone then when he was with me. Maybe it's because he pulled me so far away from everyone and anything I loved or cared about. Or maybe thats me being irrational, after all, he often said I loved to over exaggerate things. Make things seem far more important than they truly were. He told me that I did it for attention, I did it because unless I brought attention to myself, no one would notice or care about me.
Maybe he was right