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Rated: E · Monologue · Other · #2095342
Nadia's Wedding
Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family it gives me great pleasure to welcome you all to this wedding ceremony marking the beginning of my daughters marital journey with her new husband.

Everyone looks so nice... especially the bride... who happens to be my daughter. (AHEM)!

Folks the Olympics just finish but I feel if wedding couples were an olympic event, that Nadia and 'David'? would get the big gold medals no?

A round of applause for the beautiful couple and all those who had hand in the preparations for this event.

Folks I only ask that you not to carry away (CAR WAY) too many of the people silver cutlery and plates.

So folks as you would clearly understand, this is a very important day for me… it starts the first day I can begin to resuscitate my bank account and transfer any and all financial considerations onto her new husband... (peep over to groom) thanks a lot. I heard about a husband whose wife was frantic that her credit card got stolen... but he was slow to report it to police when he realized that the thief was spending way less than his wife.

Oh dear, what is a father to do nuh? I am so privileged to have witnessed you mature into the beautiful swan you are today. Your mother Marsha would have been so proud of you Nadia. On the verge of attaining your masters degree and all… I once heard someone describe marriage as the institution where the husband loses his bachelor degree and the wife gains her masters.

Advice? What can I tell you kids? It's not rocket science, but you too will have to 'take off' a few things and 'launch' yourself into loving and caring for each other!

Don't go to bed angry.

'David?' boy, the best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it one time. Just one time!

Nadia, if he wants to watch sports on TV, take a deep breath and ask what the score is… over and over and over.

So most of you know I am an engineer. Engineering and electronics is part of the Thorpe DNA. But recently I've been thinking about this father-of-the-bride thing, and I may have missed my calling as a banker.

You see on surface of the ledger it looks like I bankrupted and I lost my only daughter.

But in reality it will be an investment where I gain a strapping son, and in the short-term, the account will mature and produce some good-looking little dividends for me to raise.

What y'all think... I miss my calling or what?

Before I ask you all to stand in raise your glasses and toast for the health and prosperity for this wonderful wedding couple, I will end with the story of A friend of mine which thankfully is not this story.

At lunch one day, this friend was looking sad. He say his son and his friends spent a lot of money booking a Trinidad carnival this year. Costumes... tickets to two or three fêtes... hotel etc.… but he realize in horror, that Carnival Saturday was the same day as his wedding!

Soooo he can't go. What to do?

So My friend say that his son went on Twitter to ask for help. He say 'Help needed ASAP! Need help fast. I need somebody to take over.

The wedding will at St. Mary's Church at 3 PM. Her name is Wendy, she'll be the one in the white dress.
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