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Rated: E · Non-fiction · Emotional · #2108582
Some of my targets for the coming year, All are subject to my ability to cope with Life.
Dear Me
It is a New Year. I hope that life takes less stress to live this year, even though my partner Lis is unlikely to recover from her brain injury. In spite of the depression, the dejection, and the lack of positive news about her, I will try to become an active member of my Writing sites once again. I have missed the reviewing and the reviews I receive for my feeble efforts at writing, and I miss the friendly and supportive emails that have come my way over the time I have been a member of WDC. May the new year be more than you hoped for in satisfaction, achievement, and health. And may you get enough laughs to smother any unwanted incidents from hurting you.
I will try to do one review per week, and write something new, and post it, at least once a fortnight, enter some of the contests every month and generally be a more productive member of the WDC writing community. I will continue to visit my Lis in the nursing home and do whatever I can to try to help her recover from her terrible ordeal. I know my Lis is alive and functioning inside; and, I know she needs more than I am capable of giving to reconnect her brain with the various parts of her body that are not doing what she wants them to. I also know that it is unlikely that she will ever be able to return to being an ordinary citizen. However, I will keep trying as long as I am able, miracles do happen.
The fact that my own health is somewhat dubious at times shall not stop me, unless my number is called when I least expect it. It is a long and bumpy road my Lis and I are on, but, it must have an ending somewhere. Perhaps it joins with another, better road; I don’t know. There is always hope and, with hope alive, the commitment to be positive is strengthened. I must be motivated to do things, not sit and look at the empty chair across the table, and build my strength and creative capacity, so that I do have something to keep my flagging spirits lifted out of the murk of the last couple of years. That simple action might just stir me enough to help Lis return to being herself. Strange that, even now, when the health professionals say she is unlikely to recover, that she gives me advice about what I should be doing when I am alone, just sitting at home, doing nothing.
I am about to begin a course of Counselling to help me deal with the stress, the depression and the utter dejection that has plagued my life for over a year now. I know that I should eat well, sleep well, and think positive, but I still wallow in the depths of depression and only snap out of it when I am visiting Lis and trying to motivate her to move along the recovery road. I can only guess what she is going through. Her brain has healed but the connecting nerves to some parts of her body simply do not function well. I get depressed, but I can only wonder how she must feel.
There are other hobbies I have been involved with for years that I shall try to re-start , so that I will have a variety of things to do to occupy my mind when I am not doing the essential housework that must be done. If my life is productive and positive, maybe I will be strong enough to see my Lis over this terrible time. I have also thought that I should move to a house where the basic facilities are suitable for use with someone who is wheelchair bound. This house is certainly not built that way. I will try to find something suitable and then look at bringing my Lis home and caring for her myself.
None of these things are hard and fast commitments, but they are targets I can aim for as the year progresses. Any move forward with any one of them will be a small achievement and that could lead to more effort being used to continue the process. On that note I will finish, before I make promises I cannot keep and put myself into a losing situation before I even start forward. My best wishes go to everyone, I would like this year to be a good one for each and every one on WDC.
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