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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2116046-A-Lessin-Tort
Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2116046
Trying to master the art of Essay writing
What I do in the holidays by peter english

I red comiks and cleaned mi room and went to church and watched telavision. Spent weekind insid for breaking vars. I also saw some freinds and went to the move-ees

Note from Teacher - Good effort, watch grammar, handwriting and spelling. See me


(Second attempt)

What I did in the holidays by Peter English

I read comics and cleened my messy room and went to Church and watched tella telavision. Spent weekend inside for bakin breaking varse. I saw some freinds and went to the movies and saw ratertooee


Note from Teacher – some improvements made from last essay, watch grammar, hand writing and spelling. See me.


(Third attempt)


What I did during the holidays by Peter English


I read comics and cleaned my messy room and went to Church and praid for sick dog. Had to stay inside on hot day becorse I broke vase. I saw some friends and went to the movies and saw Rattletooee



note from teacher- handwriting greatly improved. Ideas have been fleshed out like we discussed. There are still some spelling errors. See me

(Fourth Attempt)

What I did during the Holidays by Peter English



I read comics and cleaned my room where I had to stay most of the weekend because I broke a vase. I also cort up with sum friends and saw Ratatouille at the movies.



Note from teacher – vast improvement, though handwriting getting a little sloppy. There were also a few spelling errors. See me)

(Fifth Attempt)

What I did during the holidays. An Essay by Peter English

I spent most of the holidays reading comics and cleaning my room, where I spent most of the weekend, for breaking a new vase. During the break I also caught up with some friends, whom I went to the movies with and watched RATATOUILLE


Note from teacher. Neat hand writing. Good spelling. Sentence structure improved but content lacks interest. See me

(Sixth attempt)


Holidays in the fields of Oblivion. An Essay by Peter English


I read lots of comics involving heaps of action. Went to church and prayed for my poor dog who is almost on death’s door. Devels attacked us half way throu the mass but lukaly the priest new kung foo and delt to them good and proper.

My room were in a horible mess with cloves and toys all ova the place. I had to battel the huge spiders and killer dogs and fight off dragons to get the job dun. At one stage they got the best of me and I staggid out and tripped over the table and broke a vase. Mummy exploded with anger, tearing great chunks of here out of her hed. She grouled at me for ours and ours and locked me in mi room without eny food or water.

Finding some dinamite I blu a hole in the wall and eskaped. My freinds found me and we all flew out off the country to a sekret iland where I saw Ratatouille in an underground cayve.


Note from Teacher - Poor grammar, hand writing and spelling. See me!

(Final attempt)

Learning my lesson by Peter


I will not scru up my esay and throw it at the teecher
I will not scru up my esay and throw it at the teecher
I will not scru up my esay and throw it at the teecher
I will not scru up my esay and throw it at the teecher…
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