A reflection upon the chaos that keeps us from truly being Still
Thinking Out Loud
A Moment of Stillness
By Holly Wogan
It starts with a quiet moment, a cup of cocoa and stillness. No one needs anything from you or has anything for you. There is no phone ringing, reminding you to hurry and answer it. The Moment is yours, yours alone and all about You. As you sit, sip and breathe in peace of mind and mindful silence, you find yourself thinking about what you want, who you are and why you let so many things get in your way.
My perfect "Me" Moment is riddled with over thinking and future to do lists. Even at night, I lie abed and plan for tomorrow because I like to think that if I'm proactive, everything will fall into place. And sometimes it does.
Recently, I had to admit to myself that there is a difference between being proactive and overactive; and question which one best described me. In my reasoning and rationalizing I came to the conclusion that I was both at different times and that what I was really avoiding was Silence. By keeping busy and overthinking everything external, I purposely getting lost in life's' chaos rather than dealing with my own.
Knowing that does not change my habits or tendencies but it does give me a sound, rational reason to consider making some changes; but which ones and when? There are plenty of things that I have to do that do require a great deal of time and attention, and I'm a responsible adult, with people depending on me. I decide that my first step will be to decide what things I can cut out and decrease by simply staying no or delegating. I will begin my mornings reminding myself not to let so many things get in My way while I will sit at my table and sip cocoa; enjoying stillness. It will take time and practice to focus on myself, and I won't always succeed; I’m ok with that. I will do it anyway and remind myself that practice makes perfect.