by Snow Vampire
This essay is written in list form and contains things not to do when you visit Barbados.
Things to do in Barbados, island of The Bearded Ones,1 are numerous and fun, but there are certain things you cannot do that might get you on the run. Please keep in mind these nineteen things--you should not do--if you want to have fun.
19 Things NOT to Do in Barbados2
Number 1: Do Not wear camouflage!
Because only the Barbados Defense Force is allowed to wear this style of clothing.
Number 2: Do Not touch the Manchineel Fruit!
Because the fruit is toxic.
Number 3: Do Not sit under a ripe Coconut Tree!
Because a Coconut could fall on your head, and you do not want to be one of the 150 people Coconuts kill each year.
Number 4: Do Not swim on the island's East Coast!
Because of the surf, currents, and the rip-tide.
Number 5: Do Not get too close to the Monkeys!
Because the little bastards can get aggressive.
Number 6: Do Not underestimate the power of a Rum Punch!
Because this classic cocktail is made of “one of sour, two of sweet, three of strong, four of weak” 3and It has quite a punch.
Number 7: Do Not Sunbath Topless!
Because Barbados you do not have the option of "clothing optional" on Barbados beaches.4
Number 8: Do Not stroll the Beaches at Night!
Because dark and deserted places invite muggings.
Number 9: Do Not disturb the Nesting Sea Turtles!
Because sea turtles are an endangered species it is illegal to disturb or take their eggs.
Number 10: Do Not forget the Mosquito Repellent!
Because aedes aegypti mosquitoes carry "dengue fever, chikungunya and zika".5
Number 11: Do Not light a fire on the beach!
Because it is illegal.
Number 12: Do Not step on a Sea Urchin!
Because their spins hurt like hell.
Number 13: Do Not dive or snorkel without a marker!
Because of the boat traffic above you.
Number 14: Do Not wear or bring a lot of leather!
Because Barbados is a tropical climate with hot and humid leather destroying weather.
Number 15: Do Not forget to drive on the left side of the road!
If you forget you may encounter a head on collision.
Number 16: Do Not expect things to run on time!
Remember, in Barbados you are on "island time",6
so slow down and enjoy your vacation.
Number 17: Do Not--if you are gay--flaunt your homosexuality!
Because in Barbados "homosexual acts"7 are illegal.
Number 18: Do Not do or, at least, get caught doing drugs!
Because the penalty is stiff.
Number 19: Do Not be complacent about your safety!
Because tourist can be easy targets for pickpockets and other criminals.
Now that you know what not to do in Barbados, you can visit the country on your next vacation. Go to Barbados. Have fun in Barbados. Post the pictures on your favorite social network. If you think you might forget something on this list, please feel free to print a copy off and take with you.