Distorted: to twist out of the true meaning or proportion.
Not in any tangible way no, I mean not the distorted you see in a Picasso painting but in the way you feel so disconnected, so out of touch with yourself like watching yourself scream in slow motion, everything is broken around you with more shit falling down and an ironically cheerful classical music playing in the background.
Distorted, is the word that pops into mind when asked "How are you?".
That's the word that comes to mind at 3AM when everything's silent except your mind, when so many images and feelings, overwhelming, intense, chaotic, unwavering in their quest to flood the little bit of order you managed to put together.
The perfect word for when you're looking at people, while sitting in a cafnear the window, watching as they go about their day and none of them are smiling, they're screaming at their phones, they're pushing and being pushed always in a hurry, some are indifferent with no expressions at all, they lost all interest in everything. How come no one is smiling?