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Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2139055
Breakfast, please...
Felines have no problem communicating among ourselves, we have a universal feline language which doesn't include meows. Meowing is reserved for talking to humans.

My human is well-trained, but it took quite a while to make her understand that I was talking to her and that each meow had a different meaning. For example, I use a simple everyday meow to tell her I'd like my breakfast, but if that doesn't work I will blast her with a long-voweled yowl that means I'd like my breakfast now.

As I said, it took quite a while, but Mum is smart for a human and she caught on quickly. I have a large vocabmewlary I use with her now so there was no need for her to ignore my command – I mean request this morning.

It started out as a good day I batted her in the nose a few times to wake her up and get her out of bed. I walked in front of her and led her straight to my food bowl, rubbing my head affectionately against her legs. I said a short meow meaning, “ Good morning, breakfast time.”

Mum looked at me and said, “ Not yet Sir Trevor, I need my coffee first.” She took her coffee and settled down at her desk. She has an electric coffee warmer so she can make her coffee last a good long time.

I sat beside my bowl and waited. After I decided I'd given her enough time to drink the coffee I opened my mouth and said, “Mrrraaaaaoooow.” She looked at me, sighed and took another sip of coffee. At this point, I got annoyed and jumped up onto the desk and then onto the computer tower and laid down. I lay there and stared at her a long time.

I've learned a few tricks during my life, after all, I am a very intelligent feline. I was hungry I wanted my breakfast so I reached out one front paw and pressed on the pretty blue button that turns the computer on and off. Sure enough, the screen went black and Mum glared at me and said, “Fine! I'll get you your breakfast.” She pushed back her chair, stomped to the kitchen, and filled my bowl.

Sometimes you have to be firm with your human.
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