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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2149302
by TJ
Rated: E · Poetry · Comedy · #2149302
Silver Medal Winner! Move over, Curling! There's a new Olympic Sport in town!
The Writers Cramp Contest


In honor of the Winter Olympics 2018 in South Korea ... You have been asked to create an idea for a new winter sport for the 2022 Winter Olympics. Write your story or poem about the wildest, craziest, and/or hilarious winter sport you can imagine. It must something you make up - like "Winter Baseball on Ice" - same rules as regular baseball except on ice, and all the players are on ice skates. It can be a totally new sport, or a combination of current sports - just make sure it fits a "winter" theme. Describe your sport as if you are pitching the idea to the Olympic committee - and most of all, have fun with it!

A letter to the International Olympic Committee:

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present
an idea no doubt, will require your consent?
I hope you will like it and don't see why not
when I tell you about this suggestion I've got

May I introduce a new sport for the Games?
"Olympic Ice Fishing" is (so far) the name
Each team is comprised of five big burly brutes
dressed in tight spandex pants n' long hip-wader boots

The event will be held on an ice hockey rink
and the ice must be solid, so nobody sinks
The rink is outdoors - not an indoor one where
as most everyone knows, there's no fish under there

The first athlete's job is to drill a small hole
in the ice, maybe ten or twelve inches or so
'cross the middle I mean - not the distance around
then holds on to his rod, at which point he sits down

What he sits on is just an old wood packing crate
then he plops in his line, using sushi for bait
The fisherman waits and is tense you can bet
A man stands beside him who's holding the net

Meanwhile his young buddies - athletic and able
have set up a plastic and steel folding table ...
Some knives and a box cutter - also some dishes
are laid on the surface, awaiting the fishes

The fifth man, he's got a cast iron frying pan
He'll light up the stove when the fish hits the fan
They all know their job when the fishes arrive
The third man beheads them and guts them alive

Then it's on with the batter, and into the pan
as they make just as many fishwiches they can
with melted cheese, lettuce, good ol' tartar sauce
then offer 'em up to the judges, of course

At the end of their time - say an hour or two
they count all of the fishes n' then declare who
is the winner by virtue of number of fishes
with bonus points given for who's more delicious

So I leave it to you, ladies and gentlemen
If you all turn me down, I won't ask you again
The Games will go on, pitting best against best
But I'm really just hoping I win this contest!
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2149302