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Rated: 18+ · Poetry · Emotional · #2152043
Living with borderline personality disorder and having relationships can be hard
Title: The Borderline Personality in Me: No Good at It

I thought it was the bipolar side of me
But it's the borderline personality in me
That makes me so fucked up
And that's why all my relationships have sucked
Because I'm no good at making friends or keeping them

You might as well through my number away
You promised you always be there for me
But I just can't stay
Here in this place anymore
Everything just seems like such a bore
And you, you like to call me a drama whore
But I guess I do everything on my time
And that's fine
If you wanna yell at me and tell me that I'm fucked up
But what's fucked up
Is you
You never know what to do
When I'm down and blue
So I curse and yell at you
But I really don't mean to
It's just a test to see if you'll always be there

Because I'm no good at making friends or keeping them
I guess it's the beginning overidealizing's with the bitter ends
I'm no good at making friends or keeping them
It must be the I love you's followed with fuck off I never wanna see you again

And I'm living with this distinct personality
At times when I push people away or when they leave, I get massive anxiety
I can’t make people understand what it feels like inside of me
They just let me be
Some days it’s hard to be me
Having to deal with such anxieties and dealing with people inside and outside of work, having to talk, associate, mingle, and pretend to be happy
You know, not let any of that depression show
So no one would dare know
Because depression is a sign of weakness
And quietness is a sign of weirdness
And shyness is cute, well if you're a guy
And makes a person nonexistent if you're a tomboy, girl like I
So I guess I gotta talk to make friends
But where would I begin?
Because I have nothing in common with a lot of people I come across
So, I'll just be stuck here looking so sad, lonely, and lost
Because I'm no good at making friends or keeping them

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