Looking for my love.
|I have always been a romantic. I have slipped notes in bottles and cast them into the sea. I have wished on stars and watched them burn. I have looked for my share of four leaf clovers, and whispered sweet prayers into the wind. Where is she? She's not coming, or maybe she can't. Yet...
It's hard waiting. I send a small flicker of flame skyward and cross my fingers. Let her notice I think. Let the tiniest tendril catch her eye. Let her move closer as her natural curiosity and zest for life makes her want to know more. Catch her attention and more importantly hold her attention to me.
The idea of a perfect woman is laughable. No one is perfect. I couldn't meet half the expectations I have for my perfect mate. There isn't a person alive that could. I seek perfection when I am no where near it myself. Doesn't she deserve perfection? If she is perfect herself, I wouldn't get a second glance.
You are out there some where. I don't know when we are supposed to meet. I hope it's soon, there's so much to tell you. So much to show you. I want you to know me. Know the hard paths I have taken to meet you. I have lost pieces of myself to get to you, but the core is intact.
I want to know your trails, glance back at the footprints you have left behind. I want to walk with you. It matters not if I am in front, behind, or next to you. I want to be with you. I will carry you if I need to and lighten your load in any way possible.
I want to share in the delights of your day. I want to make some of them for you. I want to love the little things with you, save for the bigger things and laugh as we share it all.
I want to cry with you. I want to hurt with you and heal with you.There are so many tragedies in the world. Life isn't fair, there are no promises. Sands sift downward through the hourglass. Another day and she's still not here. I thought she was. A heartfelt flicker, it didn't last.
Maybe it is me who is not ready. Be better I tell myself, polish mentally, physically, emotionally. Be true, make sure the light that goes out is strong, consistent and pure. This is who I am. Know me, love me. I was made for you. Made to support you and keep you strong.
The flame rises upward.