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by Linda
Rated: E · Poetry · Comedy · #2162344
Writer's Cramp - 40 Lines
Bad news at my last physical,
The doctor frowned and said,
"Mac, if you don't lose weight
you're just as good as dead.

The doc and his old lady
are as healthy as can be.
They're strictly vegetarians
and he prescribed that for me.

At the time, the choice seemed simple
the funeral home or greens.
I thought I've got this whipped,
in no time I'll be lean.

My wife's a little chubby,
she eyes my grocery sacks,
and squeals, "Why all this rabbit food,
good lord take this back!"

The first week, I'm elated.
It's a breeze to eat this way.
My wife's T-bone and french fries
doesn't bother me.

The next week in my dreams,
I eat steak and ballpark dogs,
and one night in desperation,
I chase and kill a hog.

I know that I'm in trouble
when I watch my wife chow down.
I try to keep her talking
just to watch that meat roll round.

One night I awakened
with ham and eggs in hand.
The butter's brown and sizzly
in my favorite frying pan.

I admit that I'm defeated.
It's the funeral home for me.
Until I watch a show,
"EAT MEAT" on T.V.

I cancel my appointment.
There's no need for me to go.
No fruit and veggies only,
My new diet is Paleo.

40 Lines

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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2162344