by Wanda Gray
Dealing with dementia in a loved one
|Now I hold a little paw as once a larger hand held mine.
No strong arms enfold me and cradle me to his chest as I do a little dog.
Once there were two bodies and two souls entwined.
And for that I am so desperately pining.
Dementia has robbed me of my beloved one’s mind.
This thief steals all the memories we created and planned to share.
The man still stands before me who no longer remembers family or friends.
Leaving me to dread the day he will no longer know me as well.
My loneliness grows with every day.
But he faces fear and confusion as well.
My husband is disappearing with every passing day.
Replaced by someone becoming more like a child.
The child will fade and a vegetable will take its place.
Lewy Body Dementia begins with taking memory.
But less noticeably it destroys other parts of the brain.
Parts that control the body leading to tremors and eventually, to
failure of all organs.
Hallucinations and delusions join loss of memory and tremors.
Frustration and dread become daily companions to confusion and fear in
both of us.
As he has diminished I have had to become stronger.
But sometimes I cannot stop the tears as I hold a little paw.
June 7, 2018