Discussion the question of...What does it mean to be a man or better yet a gentleman
|When you are born it is determined by X & Y chromosomes whether you will be male or female. If an X & Y chromosome are put together you will be born male.
So you could say, that being born into this gender is a matter of chance at birth. Now if you were born into the male population you will, of course, grow up differently then your female counterpart.
Does being born male make you a man? Becoming a man is a process of lessons and teachings throughout your life. So, at what age would you determine someone of the male gender to have reached the age of being a man? Also what do you believe determines whether a young male has become a man or not?
Let's take these one at a time. Many different cultures determine when you have become a man in various different ways. For example, in the Jewish culture, the first Sabbath after a males 13th birthday he is Bar Mitzvahed and is given full responsibility for his life and his actions... which in turn determines that at this point he has become a man in his own right.
In many African cultures and also Native American cultures here in the US, a coming of age, or becoming a man was determined by performing certain rituals, your prowess as a fighter... many times going on a hunt and making the first kill of a certain animal.
Here in the US, as it is determined today, when you reach the age of 18 you are no longer considered a child. At this point, age determines that you are a man. Yet, does this really make you a man? And is just being a man what your goal is? This is the next question we need to tackle.
What determines whether you are a man or not? Is it the fact that you carry the male chromosomes? Could it be that you're an athlete, strong and muscular, highly intelligent... or perhaps rough and tough?
I suppose any of these could be viewed as male characteristics. And it's not that all of them are bad characteristics, in fact most of them would be beneficial to have. Let me ask you this question... do you want your sons to grow up to be just men, or do you want them to be gentleman?
A man can be strong and he can be smart. Yet, if he treats a woman like a piece of meat or a punching bag... even verbally abusing her... he's not a man in any way, shape, or form. If he's mean and abusive to people around him, shows no care for others, shy's away from responsibility... is not willing to work hard to earn his keep, then he has not become a man yet. And more importantly, he hasn't become a gentleman.
Being a gentleman is a matter of choice... one that we make, and are taught growing up towards manhood. A gentleman can possess great strength and power... yet, he knows how to direct his strength and the influence that he carries to help others and improve the lives of those around him.
A gentleman is a man of integrity, he's a man of his word... he says what he means and means what he says. A gentleman is not somebody who is perfect, everybody makes mistakes.
Yet, when mistakes are made, or hurt is caused to an individual... no matter what form it may take... a gentleman will have the character to admit his mistake. He will ask for forgiveness, and take the lesson applyng it to his life, so he may become a better man in the future.
He will show strength and courage in defense of the innocent and the ones he loves. He will treat his children with love and kindness... also directing discipline, when necessary, in an unabusive manner.
A gentleman will treat the woman in his life, not only as an equal... but with love, caring, and a gentleness that not only comes across in words... but in actions. She is to be his heart, his partner, his confidant... the one person that she can always rely on no matter what life throws at them.
He is to be a man of God, the spiritual leader of his family... loving God with all his heart, his mind, and his soul. He should do everything in his power to put God first above all else in his life. 1 Corinthians 16: 13-14 tells us, " Be on guard. Be strong. And everything you do must be done with love." Psalms 37:23 says, " The steps of a Godly man are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives."
So what does it mean to be a gentleman? It means to have the heart of God, to treat people with unconditional love and respect in the same manner God shows you... doing everything you can, as best you can, to be the hands and feet of God to all those around you. It's not your right to be a gentleman, or a man for that matter... it's a privilege!