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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2173326-Test-Anxiety
Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Personal · #2173326
I need to pass. I need the degree to earn a stable income to support my kitten.
I go into the exam room
I'm already sweaty
My knees are weak
My breath is short
My heart feels heavy
Nineteen minutes into testing
And there's vomit on my shirt
Microwave spaghetti

I snap back to reality
Crap! There goes gravity.
Everything around me
Is laughing at me
I choke on my anxiety
And the spaghetti
That didn't make its way
Out already

I'm gonna lose my mind
Doing this
For two whole hours
Why did I sign up for this course?
It's not like I'm good at it
Or anything
Why bother?
I've been struggling since day one

I'm gonna lose my lunch
Again
All over the keyboard
The vomit will get stuck between the keys
It will be hard to clean
And the keys will get stuck
And it will be
All my fault

Oh great
Here comes a difficult problem
I had to study this one for an hour
And it wasn't my finest hour
I had to ask my mom for help
And I never do that
I must remember what she did
Or I'll have to drop out and call it quits
There's no way I can write without a degree
If I don't have one no one will take me

But I refuse to settle for the least I can get
Which is the most if I end up incompetent
I'm not living the rest of my life in Salem's Lot
Success is my only motherfucking option; failure's not
I have a kitten that I need to support
I'm not gonna lose her to my brother in court
And let him change her name to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
Her name is Peanut Butter

So I'm not gonna lose this time
Not today
I'm gonna pass
For the sake of my future
That I'll need to support
My little Peanut Butter
And keep her away
From that monster

'Cause I'm gonna lose my mind
If he gets custody
And gives her
That ridiculous name
She deserves better than that
That's why she stays with me
I'll do whatever it takes
To support her
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