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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2173673
Rated: 18+ · Fiction · Entertainment · #2173673
An industrial psychologist conducts clinical research with a small vet clinic.
Dr. Renee Atwood
17 Forest Hill Drive
555.1616
Dear Dr. Ronald Collins, DVM
I am an industrial psychologist and am currently conducting clinical research in an attempt to demonstrate correlations between personality and career paths. I also explore work place productivity based on relationships within the establishment and the home. I will not lie, Dr. Collins. My work can seem very invasive to some groups but my goal and that of my firm is to develop employment standards that are conducive to productive and profitable businesses but also emotionally healthy individuals. Please discuss this with your staff. If everyone is in agreement, we can sent over the necessary documents next Thursday.
Kindest regards,
Renee Atwood, Psy.D
atwood.r@pinehurst.com
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From: thatvetguycollins@zmail.com


Dr. Atwood, I presume!
I have spoken with my crew over here and they. are. on. board! I will have my office manager, Molly, send over the groups' contacty informationy pronto. Are you one of the Atwoods from over on Skyline Drive? You and your parents had that beautiful pointer, Sasha, right? How's she doing?

Ron
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: thatvetguycollins@zmail.com
From: atwood.r@pinehurst.com

Sasha died 16 years ago. Thank you.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From: mgreene@parkplacevets.com

Dr. Atwood,
I would first like to say I don't believe in psychology. I believe it is a soft science. Second, I refuse to answer any sex questions. Third, do not contact me between the hours of 8PM and 7AM. Best of luck with your studies. Here is a list of our employees, their job titles and contact information.

Molly Greene-Office Manager-mgreene@parkplacevets.com-555.5190
Amy Mitchell-Veterinary Technician-amymitchell99@yoohoo.com-555.3271
Dr. Tina Roberts- Veterinarian-dr.tina@parkplacevets.com-555.1171
Kate Mosley-Veterinary Technician-katiem77@yoohoo.com-555.6200
Dr. Christian Breslin- Veterinarian-chrisb@parkplacevets.com-555.5181
Ryan Sanders- Veterinary assistant/house keeper-ryeman@zmail.com-555.1285
Dr. Ronald Collins-practice owner/veterinarian-thatvetguycollins@zmail.com-555.7342
_________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:thatvetguycollins@zmail.com


Sure, I don't mind going first as I am the group leader and.........ya know.....BOSS. I own the glorious tudor known as Park Place Veterinary Services. I live upstairs. I guess I became a vet because I wanted people to like me, to really, really like me. People always love vets. You tell people you are a vet and they immediately think you're awesome. They are always like "Oh my gosh thank you so much for all you do for animals! I had a dog once and he was sick and the vet.....just......completely saved him." And even though I wasn't that vet, they don't care. And my clients are always bringing me gifts; cookies, scarves, books. So being a vet is pretty great. So even though I wouldn't say I'm AS AWESOME as God, it's still pretty great. Like, I'm not God, but, God made me a vet. When I was just a kid, I remember I went to Sunday School and the teacher told us the story of Noah and the boat with the animals. I remember sitting in that class room and I swear to you, I heard God. And God said "Dr. Collins, you need to help all the animals." And, here I am.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:katiem77@yoohoo.com


Hi. I'm Kate, one of the vet techs. That's a great question; "Why did I choose this career over countless others." Some days, I don't know. Some days, I will be expressing a patient's anal glands or helping with a pyrometra surgery and I'll just be thinking "I could have been an architect or lawyer. The pay and clothes are so much better." I guess the real reason is I chose this when I was really young, I liked zoology, biology and medicine so it seemed like a natural fit. And I do like what I do. I think animals occupy a very unique and special place in people's lives so by taking care of them, I feel I am taking care of people in a very special way.
No, I never considered being a doctor. I was not interested in that type of career commitment. I honestly thought by now I would have a husband and a couple of children but, it's still just me and my cat, Trinket.
I enjoy my co workers very much. Amy is a very good friend. She and I are texting all the time and hang out outside of work. I might even call her my best friend but you always want to be careful saying things like that, right? They may not feel the same. I also consider Christian umm Dr. Breslin, Dr. B, a friend. We joke around at work a lot, mostly about Dr. Ron. I mean, the guy's hobbies are appearing in the background on TV and drone piloting. Anyway, yeah. Christian brought me coffee once or twice. I don't know, can men and women be friends? He has a wife. Maybe it's weird to even mention it. I doubt he ever thinks about it.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:ryeman@zmail.com


Well, I'm here because my mom said if I didn't go to college I would have to start paying rent. I was all like "College?! Are you nuts? Those applications are, like, three pages long, dude." So that's mainly why I'm here. Well that and I want to buy a PlayStation 4 Pro.
My co workers are kinda boring. All they do is blab about isopropadopamine and cardionephromegly and stuff. But I gotta say, Kate and Dr. Tina totally want to bang with me and, ya know, I'm down with it. Those chicks are HOT. I'm going to invite them both to my next LARPing event and see where it goes.
_________________________________________________________________________________


To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:amymitchell99@yoohoo.com


Why did you select this career over others you may have been interested in?
That is a provoking question. I originally wanted to go to film school. I filled out several applications and submitted my portfolio. I never heard back. I guess it's for the best. Back then, my parents weren't very supportive of an art career. So, I took a job for the local vet just doing kennel stuff and some house keeping. Then, one thing lead to another, I met some guy (whom I wound up marrying), got pregnant and so on. I guess that's how it is; sometimes life selects us.
Describe your nuclear family unit and explain how it may affect your perspective on the job.
I married my boyfriend, Brian, 22 years ago when I was 20. He sells large appliances at Gerry's downtown. It's the most boring job ever but he seems to really be into it. At dinner, he always insists on telling us about the newest Maytag washer or how fancy the ice dispensers are on the latest LG refrigerator. I asked him once if he ever considered being a police officer or an ER nurse or a fireman. He looked at me as though I were crazy and said those jobs all seemed way to fast paced for him. Yes. A little excitement here and there is always tragic, isn't it? If I started randomly sleeping with someone else, do you think maybe he would just leave me?
We have four children. Abigail is 21 and still lives at home. Grace is 15 and in ninth grade. Luke is 11 next month. He's in fifth grade. Jane, our youngest is 7. She's in second grade. So basically, I finish up a busy day here making sure all the animals have been medicated properly and Dr. Ron has filled out all his medical records which he hates doing. He'll come up with any excuse to not fill out his medical records. Like yesterday, he came up to me and said he noticed we were running low on the refrigerator magnets we hand out to clients (I hate refrigerator anything). He wanted to look over some with me so we could order new ones. I told him I would order more today but he really needed to fill out his records. He told me he really wanted to select a new style. We spent four hours shopping on line for refrigerator magnets. Four hours! Most people don't spend that long selecting the refrigerator said magnets will go on. No medical records got filled out. Then, after all this nonsense, I get to go home and listen to everything that happened in elementary school, what was served for hot lunch and how gross it was, what dish washer models are hitting the shelves next month and the newest drama in freshmen band class. I think Abigail is sexting. Should I worry about this? She is an adult and knows more about the interweb than I do. I don't know. Your question makes me wonder if I sometimes use work to escape home and home to escape work.
As for me, I recently took up smoking, binge drinking and bought a motorcycle. According to the National Traffic Safety Administration, there are more motorcycle deaths per year than rock climbing, hang gliding and scuba diving combined.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

you have (1) new message
555.6200 (Kate the Great)


Hey. What the heck is larping?


you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Aimsters)


I don't know. Why?

you have (1) new message
555.6200 (Kate the Great)


Something Ryan invited me to. I wonder why he thinks I'd be into it. How random.

_____________________________________________________________________________________


To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:chrisb@parkplacevets.com


Dr. Atwood,
What interesting research you are conducting. I have often wondered how the subconscious manifests into the form of career. It does seem certain types of people are consistently attracted to certain types of careers. I would be interested in reading your research report.
No, I have not always been a vet. I actually started going to school to become a civil engineer. I thought I wanted to design ski resorts as I have a natural love of the out of doors. This only made me more aware of land usage and wildlife conservation. I gradually became more interested in zoology. Now, I am mostly interested in large animal medicine.
As far as my co workers and my relationships with them, I feel we have a half way decent crew, here. I think the person I am closest with is Kate. She is so dedicated to our patients and learning anything she can about the field. We joke around a ton. We both love Star Wars so we'll throw a quote from the movie out there and nobody else gets it. Sometimes when we have a house call, I'll ask for her to go with me then take the long way back to the office just so we can have an interesting conversation about a book we've both read or places we've both been. We've both been to London so one afternoon, we had a great conversation about exhibits at the British Museum. I think having someone you like and communicate well with boosts work place productivity. I would also consider Dr. Tina a friend. She and I both enjoy skiing so we've hit the slops a time or two. Amy is wonderful to work with. She is very professional and believes in firm lines between doctors and nurses. She is very skilled at her job. Let's see, I don't know Ryan very well. He's a younger guy. I would say the person I don't have much chemistry with would be Molly. She can actually be a bit abrasive. I'm not sure I would have someone like her answering phones and greeting clients but that's really up to Ron.
My family life is simple. Rachel and I have been married for ten years, now. I met her when we were both working ski patrol over at the mountain. Right now, she's sort of between jobs but she feels I'm to committed to my job. I would like children and I thought she did, too but it seems she's lost interest over the years. It seems like she's just really struggled to find herself a bit. Last week, I came home from work and she had set up an aromatherapy room in the living room. Apparently, she was bent on teaching aromatherapy classes. I didn't know she knew anything about aromatherapy, I sure don't. And now I don't have a TV. Or a couch. I do not believe this affects my work or relationship with co workers in a negative way. I do sometimes feel maybe people will judge me because she's so "scattered." I guess that's silly. No one would ask her to castrate a stallion.
On second thought, it might affect my work a bit. I did ask Molly to not schedule me any more appointments this afternoon because I have to go shop for a couch. Maybe I can put it in the garage or something.
___________________________________________________________________________

To: atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com


Are there any particular personality traits you possess or experiences you have had that make you feel suited to this profession more than average individual?
Yes. I have honestly wondered if being a lesbian sometimes makes me a better doctor. I feel it often makes me more empathetic to my patients. When people discover you are a lesbian, they will ask questions. I never mind answering because I enjoy educating people and also speaking out a bit on behalf of the LGBT community. One of the most common questions is "So one of you is 'the man,' right?" My reply is always no, because that is rather the point. There is no man. So people often do not understand the gay and lesbian life style even though it is a presence in our communities. It's the same with animals. People often think they understand animals whom they are around every day but their statements prove other wise. One of the most common is "My cat is up all night. It drives me crazy. What can I do?" I then have to educate the owner that cats are largely a nocturnal species. You are not going to change this any more than you could make a lesbian sleep with a man. Though my mother did try for years.

Does your work ever make you feel isolated from friends or family?
Yes, all the time. First of all, this is an emergency service so none of us really know when we are going home at night. It makes family life difficult. Partners get upset when they have dinner prepared or if they were depending on you to run an errand. I do not have children but I know Amy has had some trouble with the school because she has not be prompt for pick up. She's also missed a few school events such as concerts, picnics and a science fair, that I know she would have liked to attend.
Second, you really have to pick and choose the stories you elect to tell at a holiday dinner or anniversary party. Some of them are just strange. I remember being in an exam room with one gentleman a couple years ago. He had brought his dog in for a broken upper canine tooth. I just kept nodding my head as he explained in detail how he ran his dog's head over with a tractor. Another time, a woman was undecided about spaying her prize winning Birman. She was not sure about the procedure as she wanted her cat to have a fulfilling sex life and was afraid spaying her would affect that. I did not bother to ask if she had ever witnessed feline mating which is never fulfilling for the female or if she understood there are only several species that engage in sexual intercourse for pleasure. Cats are not on that list, by the way.
Other stories are just tragic. Many people who work outside this profession immediately think euthanasia is difficult. It is not. Usually, by the time we get to that point, it is something we have talked about for days or even weeks. The patient is sick and the clients are just heartbroken watching their loyal and beloved pet suffer. I usually feel I am putting everyone at peace. Tragedy is when there is no plan or logical explanation. There was a time I had to perform an emergency Cesarean section on a cat who had been in labor for 36 hours as far as the owners could tell. I knew this would not end well. Cats do not labor for that long. I opened her and sure enough, several of her kittens were deformed, all were dead. I immediately decided to spay. Her uterus was friable and she began bleeding. We lost the mother as well. So these are the stories that keep us up at night but nothing our friends and families are able to identify with and certainly nothing they want to hear about at an 80th birthday party.
_______________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:mgreene@parkplacevets.com


Dr. Atwood,

You didn't give instructions on how we should respond to your questionnaire. I tried copying and pasting your original email but for some reason, the file wouldn't convert. Anyway, I was pleased to see there were no questions of intimate nature. I will do my best make sure I answer all of your questions as completely and honestly as I can.
You ask if I were to begin interviewing applicants for this job, what personality traits and qualifications I would look for. Let me begin by saying if you are attempting to trick me into finding my own replacement, I will sue. With that behind us, let's get to it. I have been a receptionist for a law firm as well as a company who sold log home kits. Being a receptionist for a veterinary clinic is a bit different. Often this job requires me to have a bit of medical knowledge which isn't really my specialty. I do rely on the doctors and techs quiet a bit, to be honest. Clients will call thinking they have an emergency. In fact, it may be an emergency for them, the client, but not the patient, the pet. When I first started this job 12 years ago, I took a call where the owner was frantic. Their boxer was dragging his rump all over the white silk Persian carpet. I was inexperienced and told her to come right in though it was closing time. I was nervous. I thought maybe the dog had some sort of obstruction in his colon. Dr. Collins chuckled at me. He and I stayed late. The owner certainly took enough time getting here for something she told me was an emergency. It turns out the dog just needed his anal glands expressed. I didn't know dogs had such things until that moment. That was certainly an emergency for the owner and her carpet but not for her dog. So a receptionist in a setting such as this needs to be able to make those sorts of judgements sometimes with poor information from the owner. Everyone wants to see the doctor or speak to the doctor right now. The receptionist must be firm yet compassionate and make the client feel their concerns are understood and are being addressed. Every client who calls is going to believe we know them and their pet personally. The receptionist needs to make them feel welcome while still getting relevant information. When asked what flea product they would like, most clients reply "Whatever we got last time." That's not really information. It also implies I know them which I don't. It's certainly not possible to remember which flea product every pet is using so more information needs to be obtained. So I would look for someone who is firm yet compassionate, able to calm clients when there are emergencies or misunderstandings and someone who other people find approachable. This is a busy office so any receptionist here should have previous experience.
You also asked as my skill set is not specifically veterinary in nature, why do I elect to work for an animal hospital. Well, the subject matter is a little more appealing to me. When I worked for a law firm, I hated trying to help people I knew had done exactly what they were accused of. The lawyers tried to explain our job was merely to make sure their legal rights were not infringed upon yattayattayatta. I say let the son of a bitch hang if he molested the little girl, duh! Who cares what his rights are. Then at the log home place, I learned the details of constructing someone else's dream house were rather mundane. Plus, here, Dr. Collins lets me keep Milo, my Chinese Crested, in the filing cabinet while I work. It's so much easier than setting up all those video cameras and checking in over the internet all the time.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


You have (1) new message from:
Ryeman 555.1285


I'll put 1000 coins in your account right now if you send me a pic of your boobies.

You have (1) new message from:
AbbythehornyAngel 555.6972


OK! Here ya go.................

You have (1) new message from:
Ryeman 555.1285


NIIIIIIIIIICE!

________________________________________________________________________________________________

To:dr.tina@parkplacevets.com, mgreene@parkplacevets.com,amymitchell99@yoohoo,
katiem77@yoohoo.com,ryeman@zmail.com,chrisb@parkplacevets.com
CC:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From: thatvetguycollins@zmail.com



I know you have all been very busy and having a lot of fun filling out Dr. Atwood's questionnaire but I now need to direct our focus once again back to work-the ol' salt mines-and what's really important. So, I want you all to know that when I went out for lunch this afternoon, the local news station was doing a broadcast from the new Mexican place that just opened over on Carpenter & Main. I went over there and sure enough, I made a statement on camera about how much I love a good quesadilla. It will be broadcasted tonight on CTLTV5. Make sure you all watch. I'll sent a UTube link just as soon as it's available just in case. I know some of you get busy with "stuff" at home (Amy) and may not see the actual broadcast.
Also, over the weekend, I was able to find a hawk nest using one of my drones. I have planted a camera near the nest which is sending a live stream to my UTube channel, VetguyLive. I just contacted the local grade school and they are excited to be able to show the live footage to the students. They will be checking in periodically over the weeks so the kids can observe the mother and chicks. What a fantastic learning opportunity for all of us!
________________________________________________________________________________________________

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 Kate Mosley


R U reading this email?


You have (1) new message from:
555.5181 Dr. B


*Ha* Ohhhh yeah.

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 Kate Mosley


What part of this is work related?

You have (1) new message from:
555.5181 Dr. B


I don't know. I wonder if he has thought this through properly.

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 Kate Mosley


This is Ron. What could possibly go wrong? *RollEyes* Hey, speaking of, he had me run and put gas in the vet truck. I left the keys on your desk. I know you need to borrow it to go pick up your new couch later.

You have (1) new message from:
555.5181 Dr. B


Thank you *Smile*

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 Kate Mosley


*Smile*

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dr. Renee Atwood
Case File: Park Place Veterinary Services


Interesting threads have emerged with the subjects at Park Place. Employees across every company in every industry are always told their personal life needs to be checked at the door. But when does your work not become a personal life? A career can often become a manifestation of the qualities and values a individual deems most sacred. An individual will learn to revere such qualities and values not just while on the job but within the nuclear family, prior life experiences and education. It could also be asked does a person develop qualities they believe will make them successful in a particular career or does a career become appealing when matched with a person's characteristics? When do co workers become extensions of the nuclear family? Certainly when people work together, they become a team and wish for the success of the team. This inherently means ensuring each member of the team plays their position to the best of their ability. As we have seen here with the subjects of Park Place, they do recognize what is important to each other whether that be a family situation, hobby or work related task. With this particular group of individuals, it is likely there are more complex issues at work that none of the subjects have committed on at this time. This could be by coincidence or it could be a type of codependency where they are reluctant to share with an outsider. It remains to be seen and will warrant further research.

______________________________________________________________________________________________



You have (1) new message from:
555.5181 Dr. B


OK, ready? I'm gonna make this a group chat.....

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 Kate


OMG *Laugh*


*BulletGr* *BulletGr* *BulletGr*

Chris Kate Ron




*BulletGr* Chris

Hey, Ron. It's Chris and Kate. We looked at your Utube video.

*BulletGr* Ron

Yeah? *BigSmile* That's great! What did you all think?

*BulletGr* Kate

I didn't realize you were a Major in the Army, Dr. Collins.

*BulletGr* Ron

?

*BulletGr* Chris

Yeah, it was really nice, Ron. But....are you sure you want that broadcast to the grade schoolers?

*BulletGr* Ron

Yeah. Why not?

*BulletGr* Chirs

Look. I'm sure that retired naval officer is very special to you. It seems like you two had some serious chemistry, you both look great. I just didn't know if parents of first graders would want their children seeing.....all that.

*BulletGr* Ron

?

*BulletGr* Kate

Did you happen to ask your friend if this was OK with him? It seems like it could be a violation of his privacy as well.

*BulletGr* Ron

It's a stream of four hawk chicks hatching. I also do a bit of narrating regarding avian pediatrics. What are you two watching?

*BulletGr* Chris

The channel you sent me the hyperlink for, GayVetLive.

*BulletGr*Kate

Where did you have your tattoo done? That rainbow heart is just precious. I may want something like that.

*BulletGr* Ron

Christian, why would I have a channel called GayVetLive?

*BulletGr* Chris

I don't know and it's not really any of my business. I just clicked the hyperlink.

*BulletGr* Ron

You two are both morons. I'll see you tomorrow.

(Ron has left the chat)

*BulletGr* Chris

*Rolling**Rolling**Rolling**Rolling**Rolling**Rolling**Rolling**Rolling**Rolling*

*BulletGr* Kate

I'm gonna die *Laugh* *Grave* *Ghost*

____________________________________________________________________________________________________


To: chrisb@parkplacevets.com
From: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com


Hey, Christian.

Just a couple of things-I'll be working on the ACL surgery by the time you get done with the Meadow View horses and I may not catch up with you. You need to call the Mastersons back. They are very anxious to get the AI set up for Rose as they are certain we are going to miss her ovulation. Mr. Crandle also was hoping to get the rabies certificates for the herd you vaccinated last week. Some of the cattle are being sold. I'm sure if you give your paperwork to Amy or Kate, one of them will have time to work on it. I will need the other to help me with my ACL so don't hog our techs. *Pthb*

How's the couch?

To: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com
From: chrisb@parkplacevets.com


Thanks, Tina.
I ultra sounded Rose two days ago. There wasn't a glimmer of a follicle. It's gonna be awhile just yet. I will give them a jingle. I was up late last night and finished the certs myself. I will just email those over to Mr. Crandle, now.
The couch is great. Nice and cozy which is important as I have been sleeping on it for the past week and a half.

To: chrisb@parkplacevets.com
From: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com


Why are you sleeping on your couch?


To: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com
From: chrisb@parkplacevets.com


It's a bit of an odd story. You know how Rachel was trying to teach aroma therapy? Well I don't know very much about aroma therapy but evidently the first night was a bit of a wash. I'm not sure what her clients were being treated for but they were burning sage extract or maybe it was wintergreen oil, I'm not sure. Anyway, it apparently made Romulus really sick. Rachel let him into our room and closed the door. Shortly there after, Rachel and her clients heard an awful retching sound. Romulus puked all over the bed and you know how it is when a St. Bernard projectile vomits. I got home a bit later than planned. Remember I was up at Mandy's with her laboring goat? Anyway, I got home, Rachel was crying. She told me her clients ditched her, figuring if the aroma therapy made a dog sick, it couldn't be helping them. She was devastated. She then told me as I was the vet, it would be best if I cleaned up the dog vomit. I am not sure that argument is sound. After all, plenty of people who are not vets have to clean up their dog's vomit. Plus, my patients don't vomit. Horses, no vomit. Cows, no vomit. Pigs, nope. Goats, nope, they don't vomit, either. I did clean it up but by that time, it had mostly soaked into the mattress. Rachel immediately took the twin bed in the guest room leaving me with the couch. I told her it was fine and not to worry about it as we could pick out a new mattress together on Sunday as I was off work. Rachel suddenly flipped out and accused me of not being supportive of her career. She had thought long and hard over the past four hours and had determined she either wanted to become a certified diver or wallpaper hanger. She felt we needed to use our money for scuba gear or a wallpaper steamer. I got a great deal on a wet suit and something called a BCD on ebay. I think.
Good luck with the ACL!
________________________________________________________________________________________________________


To: katiem77@yoohoo.com
From: amymitchell99@yoohoo.com


The ACL whet very well after you left for that farm call. Dr. Tina does such a great job with orthopedics, doesn't she? I think I need to get a bit more serious about lifting weights, again. I had to hold and rotate that lab's leg for 45 minutes. *Yawn* Yes, let's go out, later. Murry's Tavern? I've got to get out of here! Abby spends all her time texting with some weird friend. Brian is driving me insane! Last night, we were sitting on the couch. He was watching some obnoxious thing on TV. I was reading a book. He suddenly reaches over, grabs the inside of my thigh and shoves his tongue in my ear. What sort of move is this? I had to push him away and tell him I was reading. It wasn't even a very good book. And then in bed, he'll do this thing where he breaths ON my neck, like intentionally. He will make a point to make it obvious. It's so weird. *Irritated* And, as you are my best friend, true confessions; Abby's phone went off several days ago. I told her the phone had just buzzed and picked it up to take it to her. There was a picture of a man's shaved cock and balls on the screen. I was instantly pissed off my 21 year old daughter was using her phone for this sort of bullshit but at the same time, I was all "Come to momma!" What the hell is wrong with me?
OK, and then, Luke's baseball team is out of control. You would think as he's in fifth grade, it would be super casual, right? WRONG! The coach is blowing up my phone with messages. Yesterday, they changed the time and place of practice three times! I can't keep up with this. And obviously, the coach has created some sort of group chat shit so I keep getting random messages from random number helicopter parents with no name attached "Can someone give Shane a ride?" "Cammie will be there! *ThumbsUp* " "Can Robin borrow a glove from someone?" "The lower field or the upper?" Jesus Christ, what is this?!?!?! Who signs their kid up for baseball but doesn't get them a glove? Just show up and look the hell around you shit for brains; the lower and upper fields are right. next. to. each. other! AND WHO THE FUCK IS SHANE?!?!?????

To: amymitchell99@yoohoo.com
From: katiem77@yoohoo.com


Soooooooo Murry's? At 8?

__________________________________________________________________________________________________


you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Aimsters)


You saved my life! Thanks for coming out tonight.

you have (1) new message
555.6200 (Kate the Great)


Hey no problem! It was so much fun! *Smile*

you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Aimsters)


Sooooooo? Are you gonna call that cute guy? Travis? *InLove*

you have (1) new message
555.6200 (Kate the Great)


OMG! No! Amy! I'm not going to call some random guy who gave me his number after he hung out with us for 20 minutes in a bar. He probably gave his number to 8 other girls tonight.

you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Aimsters)


Kate! C'mon! How long has it been? I'm pretty sure Trinket was still eating that organic kitten chow.

you have (1) new message
555.6200 (Kate the Great)


So? Trinky is only three, now.

you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Aimsters)


PLEASE! Do this for ME! The man is a FIREFIGHTER!

you have (1) new message
555.6200 (Kate the Great)


What is it with you and firemen? It's kinda weird. Have you considered getting help?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:chrisb@parkplacevets.com


So I guess you don't need to be a Ph.D of zoology to figure out what happened with Ron's drone and nest of hawk babies. Everything was going along really well. Parents were calling, telling us what a paragon of virtue Dr. Collins is for all he does for the community and education. The school was requesting he set up other cameras and live streams to monitor other types of wildlife (which is a terrible idea for an elementary school, by the way). Dr. Tina, the techs and I didn't think this camera and live stream was an acceptable thing. If he wanted, he could collect footage, edit the content and then pass it on to the schools. We told Ron the live stream might not be appropriate. But what are you going to do? He's the boss. So, as I said, things were going along great-until momma hawk decided she needed to teach her young to hunt. She wound up bringing back a house cat, complete with collar, to the nest. Momma hawk is a great teacher. Her offspring did just as nature intended. Now the school and parents are calling with complaints. They are asking how could Dr. Collins let such a thing happen. In the man's defense, he didn't LET anything happen. The hawk did what hawks do. When parents call saying how horrible it was, all I can say is I guess it depends what side of that equation you happen to be on. Sure, if you are the cat or the cat's family, I guess this isn't such a good day for you. If you are those hawk chicks, you have a nice warm meal in your belly. If you are mom hawk, you are one step closer to fledging your offspring. That's how nature is, though. People love animals until they act like animals. I do not feel in anyway this is something that should have been broadcast to small children but, it's happened. Currently, we have three parents threatening to sue.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________


To: atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From: thatvetguycollins@zmail.com


What ever. They can't sue. No. They can't. Like if I had children I had to feed and I broken into a store and stole a bunch of food because I had forgot to go shopping or something, you can't sue me. You might be really mad but you can't sue me.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:chrisb@parkplacevets.com


Yup. They can sue. I have checked with our attorney who has informed me a person can sue another person for anything. If they have a case is another question. I was told the parents certainly have a case. Dr. Collins, a veterinarian, should have understood the potential for emotionally distressful images to be witnessed by an impressionable audience. However, it sounds like the school also had a responsibility to protect minors in their care. Dr. Collins, as it turned out, only informed the school the live stream was there and invited them to watch. Our attorney feels the school's biology teacher should have also understood these risks and the nature of children unlike Dr. Collins who may not understand children (or anyone else) very well. We'll see.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:mgreene@parkplacevets.com


I have sent my resume to the podiatrist's office over on Maple.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:katiem77@yoohoo.com


Oh! Yes, Trinket is safe and sound at home. Thank you so much for asking! That's so sweet.
How do I feel about all this? *sigh* It certainly makes me aware of how different things are than when I started working. I've been doing this 20 years this month (yeah, I started working for a vet when I was 17 and in high school). People used to understand animals were animals. And that isn't meant to be derogatory. Animals are amazing and wonderful creatures. We should respect them as they are. Everyone wants to humanize them which I think is pitiful. A dog can smell a cancerous tumor long before it can be detected by MRI, did you know that? Cats can pinpoint the source of sound to under three inches. Why would you want to make them human? They seem pretty perfect just as they are. Now these patients come in and they are in blinged out little outfits. People get outraged if a cat is scruffed or if a muzzle needs to be used on their dog. How does a muzzle hurt a dog? But if a dog were to bite a human, that human may suffer nerve damage that may take years to heal (if ever). The whole thing is odd.
Sure, if that had been Trinket who had been snatched, I would have been heartbroken but I wouldn't be mad. What is there to be mad about? Both the cat and hawk are out there doing what they do, ya know? I also want to mention I think the same people who are crying their eyes out the hawk fed a cat to her chicks are the very same people who would cry if a nest of hawk chicks starved to death. How can you win?
This whole thing has made me wonder if maybe there isn't much of a place for me in this line of work any more. I think I have a much to literal, much to scientific view of animals and zoology. Actually, I was online looking at the architecture program over at Park Place U when your email came in.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________


To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:amymitchell99@yoohoo.com


If I have to answer that phone one more time, I will hunt down the caller and choke them with the cord. I know these parents and this is driving me fucking crazy. Yes! My kids saw it. You don't see me crying and yelling and screaming. This is life. What do these people think animals do? Call out for pizza delivery? I did tell Ron this may not be a good idea. These helicopter parents are NUTS! If things aren't all perfect and beautiful and huggy kissy there's going to problems. Four years ago, the PTA petitioned for surveillance cameras on the playground from christ sake. If your child gets into a conflict with another child at school, the teacher won't tell you the name of the other student because they don't want you mad at the other student or that student's parents. This gets very confusing when there are more than two children involved. This is the world we live in. And Ron thinks this thing with a cat wearing a pink "Princess" collar being mauled by hawks is going to blow over? He's out of his mind.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:ryeman@zmail.com


I don't know, man. This is some wacky stuff. Can you imagine seeing a hawk fly over carrying a cat? I wonder what the cat was thinking flying around all crazy. Wild, right?

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

To: atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com


I never like to say I told you so but I DID tell the man so.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

you have (1) new message
555.0820 (unknown)


Hi, Kate. This is Travis from the other night at Murry's. Your friend gave me your number. I hope I don't seem to forward. I just really liked you and thought I'd take a shot. Would you like to get together for a drink? Just us?




you have (1) new message
555.6200 (Kate the Great)


*Angry*


you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Aimsters)


Oh calm down! You can thank me later. And Kate, you WILL thank me later.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

United States District Court



Ann Foster, Joseph Rich and Jennifer Howard, plantiffs
Summons In A Civil Action

V.
Case number: 4487263475

Ronald Collins, DVM defendant

To: Ronald Collins
Park Place Veterinary Services
82 Park Place Drive


You are hereby summoned and required to serve upon

Arthur White, Esq
Attorney At Law
14 Ridgeway Drive

An answer to the complaint which is herewith served upon you, within 30 days after this summons upon you, exclusive of the day of service. If you fail to do so, judgement by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the complaint. Any answer you serve upon the parties must be filed with the Clerk of this Court within a reasonable period of time after service.


J.D. Waterman
May 15

Clerk
Date



_______________________________________________________________________________________________________


To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:katiem77@yoohoo.com


Yeah. I guess that's true. I'm dating. Wow! Yeah, I have a boyfriend. Amy and I went out for a drink several weeks ago and I met this guy Travis. Amy gave him my number, he texted and asked me out. We went on a few dates, one thing led to another and........we're a couple now! I guess it feels pretty good. I think it's good for me to socialize with someone outside of work, for a change. The people at work are great but I think it just presences a slightly narrow view of things. You can't go through life eating the same cereal for breakfast every day, right?
I don't really enjoy dating, to be honest. I met my ex fiance in college. I really thought we were in love. I thought we were the couple everyone else was jealous of. I thought we had a solid connection. We got engaged and it was just magic! I bought a dress, god it was gorgeous! People were going to drop dead when they saw me in it. We booked the honeymoon in Acapulco. It was going to be sexy. I had bought a couple of micro bikinis that are not legal to wear on beaches in the United States.
Three weeks before the wedding, one of our friends came to me and showed me the picture. It was taken in the LumbarMart parking lot where he worked at the time. He was in the front seat of his car, kissing a co worker, Sherry. Her shirt was pulled up,his hands were on her. Her hands were out of the frame but it seemed to not take much imagination to figure out where they were. Our friend explained it had been going on awhile. Nobody wanted to tell me without evidence, of course. Both of them were fired as the photo was proof of their behavior on company property. Needless to say, the wedding was also off. He moved in with Sherry the very next day though until that moment he always told me they were "just friends." They went on the trip to Acapulco. I just didn't really understand what happened, exactly. Why did he have to lie? Why is he gettin' it on with a (sorry) really ugly co-worker when his fiance was waiting for him at home? Would he have gone through with the wedding when clearly his heart wasn't in it? Later, they both tried to tell me the picture had been photo shopped by a jealous person. Jealous of what, exactly? And photo-shopping to that extent takes the talent of serious IT professional which Shawn was not. In a moment (or two) in lapse of good judgement and some Bacardi, I wrote a letter to his parents asking if they were proud of the type of person they raised. They did not respond but did demand I reimburse them their half of the venue rental. I didn't reimburse them anything. I didn't get any money back on such short notice, why should they? Sure, they were out $8,000; I was out a husband. They didn't offer me any sort of reimbursement.
So anyway, that was just over ten years ago. I guess I've been a bit angry and a bit jaded. I haven't had the most faith in relationships since which is sad. Before that, I loved love. I loved weddings and romance. Not so much any more. Now it seems like a big stupid game. The idea of love, sex and romance is just degrading and humiliating. I have gone out on a few dates but it never really goes any where. So here I am; 37 with a cat, a 9 year old Honda Civic and a one bedroom apartment. It might be about time I take a few leaps. So who knows? Maybe Travis is the guy I will go to Acapulco with. *Smile*

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________


To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:amymitchell99@yoohoo.com


Well Kate hates dating because she's not a date. She's not a casual girlfriend, she's not a hook up. She's someone's wife. I really think this thing with Travis is going to work.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

To: atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com


I think it's fantastic Kate is finally in a relationship. I think she's lonely when she isn't here. My wife, Madeline, has a gorgeous younger brother. We tried to introduce them a couple summers ago at a BBQ Ron hosted. But, in an interesting turn of events, we couldn't pry Amy away from him and Kate spent the afternoon playing lawn jenga with Christian. So with the two single people hanging out with the married people, it was like match making for the mentally infirm. Anyway, I can't wait to meet him.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:mgreene@parkplacevets.com


Oh God! The infamous lawn jenga diabolical! Just thinking about it again makes me want to gag a lung. So Christian and Kate were being all stupid and giggly like they always are. Then, the stupid jenga tower fell down. Again! Some of us were trying to have adult conversations and we were all annoyed by the noise. (Milo had to take an extra dose of prozac that night) One of the pieces landed on Kate's foot. She was laughing hysterically and limping around in a highly dramatic manner. Christian kept asking if she were OK and touching her shoulder. Then, when she nearly toppled over, he put an arm around her. They were both gaffing like being crippled by a two by four is the most amusing thing that could ever happen at a company BBQ. Clearly there were to many Coronas in this equation. As long as I never have to witness something as pathetic as that ever again, I don't care.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:ryeman@zmail.com


I think she's just to nervous to, like, date a dude from work. She knows the Ryeman is the real deal. No dude her age is going to be able to give her what she needs, ya know? Like, physically? Ya know? She has my number.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________


To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:chrisb@parkplacevets.com


Me? I think it's great. Why?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dr. Renee Atwood
Case File: Park Place Veterinary Services


Obviously a career is selected based on how an individual views the world and the ideals they value. The responses gathered about the hawk family confirms this. Occasionally, an individual may feel the need to explore beyond a group with whom they know their ideals are considered "normal." Dr. Collins contacted an elementary school and Kate forming other friendships would be examples. It was interesting to note the responses of Kate's co-workers when questioned about her new romantic interest. The question, verbatim, was "Your colleague, Kate, has recently formed a new romantic attachment. In what ways do you feel such relationships impact work place productivity either positive or negative?" The responses to the question were all personal in nature. Sometimes, how a subject elects to answer a question is more insightful than the answer itself. The answers all stated how they felt about Kate being in a relationship which wasn't the question. No one commented on the professional impact. The responses varied from excitement to confusion to possible annoyance. I have made a note to continue to monitor the state of this particular relationship.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You have (1) new message from:
555.5190 (OhGollyMolly)


So are you coming down? Mrs. Burbank has been waiting almost 20 minutes. You know how I hate to have her lurking at the front desk.

You have (1) new message from:
555.7342 (Dr. Ron)


I'll be right there. I just need to get this propeller glued back on.

You have (1) new message from:
555.5190 (OhGollyMolly)


Dr. Ron! She has an appointment! Fix your drone later! *Angry*

You have (1) new message from:
555.7342 (Dr. Ron)


Fine! Oh god! What's she wearing today?

You have (1) new message from:
555.5190 (OhGollyMolly)

It's some sort of little silk slip thing.

You have (1) new message from:
555.7342 (Dr. Ron)

What color?

You have (1) new message from:
555.5190 (OhGollyMolly)


Kind of a pale dusty mauve. It's sorta pretty.

You have (1) new message from:
555.7342 (Dr. Ron)


I'm a man, Molly. What color is pale dusty mauve?

You have (1) new message from:
555.5190 (OhGollyMolly)


Pink! NOW GET DOWN HERE!

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________


To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:mgreene@parkplacevets.com


Mrs. Burbank is one of Dr. Ron's oldest clients. And when I say oldest I mean she must be in her 90's. Dr. Tina detected a heart murmur in her toy poodle, Biscuit, last month. We had to set up an ultra sound which is more Dr. Ron's department. Poor Mrs. Burbank is a little odd. She wears her underwear on the outside-over her clothes but she acts as though she doesn't notice. She doesn't wear just any underwear. It's downright sexy. For her appointment with Dr. Tina last month, she sported the bustier, guarder belt and thigh highs. It's the fastest I've ever seen Dr. Tina do a physical exam. It was red, though, which is fine. When she comes in wearing black, we know she's feeling "sassy." So, today, Dr. Ron has to spend at least 45 minutes in an exam room with her. He's not looking forward to this.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

To: mgreene@parkplacevets.com
From: thatvetguycollins@zmail.com

So "Biscuit" Burbank definitely has a heart murmur. We need to have him set up with a specialist at this point. Please phone the owner and make the necessary record transfers.

To: thatvetguycollins@zmail.com
From: mgreene@parkplacevets.com


You are the specialist, Dr. Ron. You have an opening next Wednesday.

To: mgreene@parkplacevets.com
From: thatvetguycollins@zmail.com


No. I mean like a specialist. Like someone who does cardiology. Someone who does a lot of ultrasound and has cardiac medications. That sort of thing.

To: thatvetguycollins@zmail.com
From: mgreene@parkplacevets.com


Yup. That's you. I'll put "Biscuit" down next Wednesday for a recheck.

To: mgreene@parkplacevets.com
From: thatvetguycollins@zmail.com


%$#^&*%@

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

To: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com
From: chrisb@parkplacevets.com


Hey, Tina. I really hate to drop this on you last minute. It turns out I have to make an emergency road trip. Is there any way you can do the health certs and coggins out at Brentwood Farms tomorrow afternoon?

To: chrisb@parkplacevets.com
From: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com


I'll be perfectly frank. I would really rather not. Those horses are going to the Olympics in two months. I'm not a large animal vet. If anything goes wrong, those horses won't be traveling. Randy and Sarah have put a lot of time and money into this. What's going on?

To: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com
From: chrisb@parkplacevets.com


I'm in a bit of a situation. Rachel sort of sold my truck on ebay.

To: chrisb@parkplacevets.com
From: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com


She sold your truck?

To: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com
From: chrisb@parkplacevets.com


Yes. We only have her Ford Fiesta now. I went home last night and it was gone. Apparently, she had it listed on Ebay. She sold it to someone in Montana. The problem is the lock box with the controlled drugs was beneath the seat. She did not remove it so now, the drugs are in Montana. If I don't get them back-quickly-I could lose my license.

To: chrisb@parkplacevets.com
From: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com


Whhhhhy did she sell your truck?

To: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com
From: chrisb@parkplacevets.com


She decided she really needed to get away from it all after the scuba mishap and "find herself." She felt an African safari was a great way to do that. She sold the truck to pay for the safari.

To: chrisb@parkplacevets.com
From: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com


So Rachel is in Africa and the drugs are in Montana?

To: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com
From: chrisb@parkplacevets.com


Yes. Kenya and Silver City to be exact. I figure it will take me at least two days to drive out and two days to drive back. I would like to head out tonight. I figure I can't exactly ask these people to just mail off controlled substances. The health certs and coggins really need to be done this week.

To: chrisb@parkplacevets.com
From: dr.tina@parkplacevets.com


OK. I'm going to do what ever I can to be supportive of you and Rachel but I really am not comfortable with this arrangement.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 Kate


Hey. I hear you're goin' on a road trip.

You have (1) new message from:
555.5181 Dr. B


Yup. Pretty much.

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 Kate


*Confused* Ummmm OK. I wish there was something I could do to help. To bad we're so busy this week. Otherwise, maybe I could go, too. We could take turns driving and get there faster.

You have (1) new message from:
555.5181 Dr. B


Yeah well I doubt your boyfriend would like that very much.

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 Kate


Well still, let me know if you need anything.

You have (1) new message from:
555.5181 Dr. B


Set, thanks.

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 Kate


I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

To: pppets@parkplacevets.com
From: r_miller96@yoohoo.com


What the hell is wrong with you people? Is this some sort of sick joke?!?? I had arranged to pick up some ointment for my dog Skeeter's burns after you closed yesterday. It was supposed to be left in the over night box. I stopped and picked up your little package. I went home and put it on Skeeter's burns. It was dog shit! I smeared dog shit all over Skeeter before I figured out what was going on. It smelt terrible but sometimes medications do. Is this some sort of joke you play on your customers or something? I want my records transferred to Lake View Animal Hospital TODAY!


To: r_miller96@yoohoo.com
From:pppets@parkplacevets.com


Mr. Miller,

I am so sorry you had to deal with this. Certainly we do not play jokes on our clients and patients. It sounds like maybe one of our clients mistook the over night box for a trash receptacle. Could I offer to waive the medication fee? I could bring the ointment to your house on my lunch break. You don't live that far. I am not sure why your medication wasn't in the over night box. It is possible another client took it thinking it was theirs. I will ask around about it. Please let me know what we can do to help you and "Skeeter."

Molly

To: pppets@parkplacevets.com
From: r_miller96@yoohoo.com


That's very nice of you, Molly. I guess if you left it on my porch, that could be OK. I'm not home and Skeeter is pretty upset right now.

To: r_miller96@yoohoo.com
From:pppets@parkplacevets.com


Absolutely. I'll take care of everything.


You have (1) new message from:
555.5190 (MollyG)


Hey Kate! Did you perhaps forget something last night?

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 StupidFace Kate


I don't think so. Why?

You have (1) new message from:
555.5190 (MollyG)


You don't think so? Were you supposed to put out some medication for "Skeeter" Miller?

You have (1) new message from:
555.6200 StupidFace Kate


Oh no! I am so so so sorry!

You have (2) new message from:
555.5190 (MollyG)


Yeah well I'm glad you're sorry but someone must have put dog shit in the over night box thinking it was a trash can. Mr. Miller thought the dog shit was the medication and he smeared it all over his god damned dog, Kate! I'm taking the medication over to his place on my

You have (2) new message from:
555.5190 (MollyG)


lunch break. I want YOU to pick up MY lunch from YumaThai on YOUR lunch break, got it?!!? I know you're in the middle of this red hot romance right now but maybe when you are at work, you could keep your head in the game?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________
I
you have (1) new message
555.6200 (Kate the Great)


What a rotten fucking bitch.


you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Aimsters)


Yeah, well, she probably needs to get laid worse than you do. Still, I would spit in her Tom Kha Kai.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

To:atwood.r@pinehurst.com
From:chrisb@parkplacevets.com


Good evening, Dr. Atwood.

I apologize for the delay in my response to your email. As I mentioned, I'm currently traveling. I made it all the way to Iowa today so the road trip is going well. Yes, the infamous scuba accident. Rachel was attempting to get into the water in all of her gear. When she stepped onto the side of the boat, she slipped due to the flippers. She hit her head pretty hard on the boat deck. She fell into the water and had to be pulled out by several other divers. She wound up with a mild concussion and a black eye. She has decided to be a nature photographer. To be very honest about the situation, I am a bit angry right now. I feel if she sort of "had her ducks in a row" so to speak, I wouldn't be in Iowa right now, trying to buy back my truck, fearful of losing my license. Tina wouldn't be headed out to a horse farm to put together health certificates she's not comfortable doing. So yes, I think my marriage does impact our work environment. Right now, it's affects are hardly positive.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Amy bo Bamy)


Hey! Dr. Ron! Why are my surgical notes from the femoral head resection all cut up and colored with CRAYON??!!!?


You have (1) new message from:
555.7342 (Dr. Collins)


Welll......I was merely illustrating for Holly and John how we would drain "Bowser's" ear hematoma. Why?

you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Amy bo Bamy)


BECAUSE MY SURGICAL NOTES ARE CUT TO RIBBONS!

You have (1) new message from:
555.7342 (Dr. Collins)


Yes. I was demonstrating where the incisions would be.

you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Amy bo Bamy)


Could you have used SCRAP PAPER?

You have (1) new message from:
555.7342 (Dr. Collins)


I thought it was scrap. You had all those scribbles on it.

you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Amy bo Bamy)


Those aren't scribbles. Those are the EKG print outs.

You have (1) new message from:
555.7342 (Dr. Collins)


oh...........

you have (1) new message
555.3271 (Amy bo Bamy)


You know what? Just forget it. This is YOUR practice. If you aren't bothered, than WHY SHOULD I BE?
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