To Ben. At least he needs to know that she's still alive.
|Helen didn't go completely M.I.A, she sent Ben an e-mail.
I didn't mean to leave you so sudden like that. I know that we shared a bond, a special bond. It's more than the bond shared by lovers, a little bit less than the bond shared by families. But it's there, I knew it from the first day I met you. I really believed in you when you said you wanted to be a pirate. I mean, I still do.
I don't want to make excuses. I just felt it one day. I felt a little spark. It grew into small flames. Then all of a sudden, it became this huge wildfire. It was all over the place. I knew I had to get out. I needed to pack up and leave. I had to get out of there.
When I was shoving my shirts into the suitcase, I thought of you. I thought of everything that I was going to leave behind. I questioned myself. What am I doing right now? This is completely insane.
On my way here, I got pulled over. When I got the speeding ticket, I thought about turning back. Maybe that was the sign that it's going to get worse on the road ahead. I wanted to hold on to that thought, but the fire ate it. It disappeared so quickly that I wasn't even sure if it was there in the first place.
I can't tell you where I am because I don't want you to come looking for me. If anyone would change my mind over things, it'd be you. I can't let you do that. Not yet. I need to figure this out on my own.
Oh, and guess who I ran into the other day? I ran into Jimmy! Gosh, I haven't seen that kid since when we were what...15? I was a bit mad about how he just quietly moved away with his family and never said anything. He still looks the same after all these years, can you believe that?
Anyways, I will keep in touch.