Love and loss..
She's gone and I'm alone. I don't see a home or feel the warmth any longer. Those dreams have been shattered and lay in pieces. The memories are still there and they hurt badly. I can't seem to sweep them away.
There is a hole in my heart and the wound is deep. Every time it starts to heal I am reminded of her and the hurt comes roaring back. I need to turn it off and I can't. There are so many reminders when I look around. Simple notes, little gifts and even places now.
i go to the lake to heal and her memory intermingles with the peace and calmness I once felt. I'm not ready to be with anyone yet. I have nothing to offer. No strength, comfort or guidance. I don't need them from others and push people away. I just want it to stop hurting.
I need to drop a wall between us and I think I did. No more texts or friendship at least for now. I want to glance back to make sure she's all right, but I can't. I can't fix her or fix this. I need to regroup and heal.
I don't want to dream anymore. I want to lock the romantic up. He's written too many checks my heart has had to cash. I just want to be numb and not feel.