A letter written to myself about my goals for 2019
Welcome to 2019! Let me start by saying it's okay to feel like you aren't doing as well as you're supposed to. I know there are times when you look at others and feel down on yourself but what you're forgetting is where you came from. You're doing amazing! You're an entirely different person than you were just two years ago. Typically when people think of the new year, they get overwhelmed with a resolution and elaborate plans to drastically change everything about themselves. We're not going to do that this year. You've done enough drastic changes in the past two years. Now, all it requires is maintenance. For the most part, you just need to continue on the path you're already on. Of course, I have goals for you and hopes to succeed and move further in life, but you're on the right road to achieve that.
Leaving behind 13 years of drug addiction and criminal thinking is commendable. Continue on the path of sobriety because without that; you'll be trapped behind prison walls again. There's no future in drugs. When you were using you had no goals, no sense of direction and sadly no hope. Life was bleak, and lack of responsibility and accountability was a normal way of life at the time. You don't have to live like that anymore. Since you became a mother and got sober, you've changed your life for the better. Don't ever look back because there's nothing there for you. The path you've chosen is one of integrity and strength. You've shown incredible courage for walking away from everything you knew to start a new, healthy life for you and your son. You have a precious baby boy who depends on you, don't let him down.
There were obviously issues that lead you to drugs many years ago; you didn't just decide to become an addict one day. I know you've been through therapy and rehab in the past, but your relapses prove that there's still more to work on and that's okay. You've never once been to a therapy session where you opened up and didn't walk away with something valuable. You've always gained from the sessions whether it be insight, resources, or even just a weight off your shoulders from venting. They have always been a great outlet for expressing yourself and helpful when you need to run your ideas and plans through someone. There have been plenty of times when you felt like it was a waste of time before a session and left afterward feeling refreshed. Take advantage of the opportunity and continue your therapy treatment. Not everyone is brave enough to admit they need help. It's only an hour out of your week; you can definitely do that. Along with your therapy sessions, medication maintenance goes hand in hand. I don't need to spell out the benefits of the medication prescribed as you are aware. Since you've become stable on your medication, it's like night and day. You've done an incredible job using your medication as directed without skipping doses or overmedicating. I commend you because you used to have "prescription dyslexia." If the prescription said 'take one pill every four hours,' you took four pills every one hour. It's such progress that you don't do that anymore. You only have that appointment trimonthly which is hardly a commitment, stick to it.
Maintaining a healthy life with balance requires doing what you love as well. Reading makes you happy; it's where you find peace. It bothers me when you don't read the way you want to. The last book you read took you two months to finish which is unlike you. You could have read that book in a day or two if you tried. I'm not saying to do that either. You need balance. Find time each day to read even if it's only a chapter. There are ways to incorporate reading into your schedule without sacrifice. I understand it's difficult to read with a toddler, but you can find the time. Read a chapter before bed, while waiting for your ride in the morning, during breakfast or waiting for the dryer to finish. There are many opportunities within a day to fit in a page or two then continue what you're doing. Start by reading one book per month then increasing it to two. Maybe eventually you'll read 4 in a month. That's a reasonable number considering it's your absolute favorite hobby. Start finding time for the things you love.
Speaking of things you love, writing has been a passion of yours for years. I'm so proud of you for starting it again. Since you joined WDC in August, you have recommitted yourself to writing. Don't ever stop doing what you love and makes you happy. Writing a book has been a dream of yours since you were a little girl. You can conquer anything you put your mind to if you put forth the effort. You have the desire to write, and you already have the idea prepared for the novel. All that's left is the footwork. Start writing! I don't care if you start by writing 200 words a day for your book; it'd be an improvement. It'd be in the right direction which is all I could really ask of you. I know how much you want this, what's stopping you?
Self-care is important. I'm proud of you for rejoining yoga. It is physically, spiritually and emotionally the correct choice for you. Holistic approaches have always piqued your interest, roll with it. Between yoga, chiropractic appointments, medical massages, and therapy, you're on the right path toward maintaining perfect balance. They are all energy healing. You were interested in Reiki for a long time; you even went to several sessions for it. Get back into that lifestyle. Start attending the seminars and holistic festivals again. Meditation doesn't only have to accompany yoga. The philosophy behind holistic medicine coincides with your current goal which is that you can achieve optimal health by gaining balance in life. I know it's difficult dealing with chronic pain, but when you take proper care of yourself, it becomes manageable. With a regular yoga routine, stretching for an hour each day, your body will increase flexibility and build muscle strength. By doing that, as you know, it decreases your pain level. The benefits of yoga are truly endless, but there are specific benefits that especially pertain to you. Yoga increases blood flow, aiding in circulation which is necessary for your Carpal Tunnel. It improves your balance and maintains your nervous system. Although there isn't a cure or treatment for your neurological disorder, yoga can help tremendously. The muscles in your arms and legs are deteriorating with time. The poses and regular practice will fight against it and build muscle. Make sure you stretch daily and begin and end each day with the sun salutation. Yoga promotes healthy breathing by taking fewer breaths of greater volume. As an asthmatic, you understand the benefit of lung function. The breathing exercises you learn in yoga don't only apply there, practice them throughout the day. The more you practice them, your lungs will expand, and you'll experience fewer asthma attacks. The more you commit to yoga and meditation, the more you'll reap the benefits. It's incredible what it can do for your body and mind.
You accepted enormous responsibilities this year on WDC! Honor your commitments because this website has given you the confidence to write again. You've learned so much in a few short months. You recently started two new classes on the site, Basics to Erotica Writing and The Grammar Garden. I'm so proud of you! Erotica is a genre you've never written in or have much experience reading either. That's huge for you! Stepping outside of your comfort zone and exploring new opportunities is incredible. It's going to be a learning experience, not just for Erotica but writing in general. As far as grammar, I'm proud of you for finally admitting you need help. It'll be such a great refresher course because yes, at one point you were grammatically knowledgable. It's been a long time since school though and memories fade. There's nothing wrong with relearning a concept. If there's something you don't understand it's okay to ask for help, that's what the teachers are there for. You started both classes with a great attitude and determination. Don't let your motivation fade through the term. Continue turning all your assignments in, answering discussion questions and reviewing other students.
I'm proud of you for joining 'I write in 2019'. It's going to be a lot of work to keep up with, but I know you can do it. It's a great opportunity for you to maintain writing throughout the entire year. You'll have to enter a contest every week to qualify. It seems like a lot but in reality, writing is your dream, and these are the steps you'll need to take to achieve it. Don't give up!
Something I would like to see you change is the fact that you're unemployed. You can't continue to live this way. I understand you have money saved, but it won't last forever. You need to maintain financial stability for yourself and your family. Nothing will change your situation unless you work harder to make it better. Start by making a plan. Where do you see yourself working that will make you happy? What type of job will you not mind going to? Take into consideration your strengths and weaknesses. Don't just apply anywhere and end up somewhere that you'll be miserable. Think about it. Sleep on it. You worked in an office environment for five years, and you were content there. Without a license, it's going to be difficult to find employment that isn't local but not impossible. Consider starting somewhere part-time or finding a weekend job. It'll be easier to locate a sitter for the baby that way. Once you're comfortable with the arrangement, consider increasing your hours. You don't always have to jump into things full force; it's okay to start slow.
Just know that I'm so proud of you. You've taken control of your life and turned it around in a positive way. Keep up the excellent work. Nothing will be handed to you in life. You need to work for everything you want. Even if that means simply putting in the footwork to find the resources necessary to obtain it. Anything worth having requires great effort to achieve.
Continue working hard and the benefits will pay off. I love you!
1,774 woe rds