Affirmations

Should be placed on index cards

Heterodox Instructions:
Put these Mirandizes
on index cards
and recite them
three times a day.

Articulate each
three times in the morning,
three times at noon,
and three times at night;
or read them immediately after
you close your eyes in sleep.

One:
All of my limitations
are art walks
dissolving the divine feminine
in Las Vegas.

Two:
All of my problems
are the bodies of men
in disguise--
opportunities for the female soul.

Three:
All accidents
are double cream chocolate cherry pies.

Four:
All betrayals
are alien encounters of the third kind.

Five:
I am an alliterating impartial impatience.

Six:
I am a multitasking coffee cup pencil holder.

Poet's Note: ▶︎

Line Count: 31
Form: Free form with some random rhymes.
Written for "The Humorous Poetry Contest" .