by Kellie Burke
A television talk show host interviews Cupid about this new autobiography about his life.
"Hello and welcome to The Lisa Hartord Show. I'm your host Lisa Hartford and tonight, I'm sitting here with a god. Not the God, but the God of Love himself, Cupid. He has written a book called From the God of War and the Goddess of Love. And here he is with his wings and all. Good evening, Cupid."
"Good evening, Lisa."
"So you wrote a book about you and your parents, is that I correct?"
"Your father is Mars, the God of War, and your mother is Venus, the Goddess of Love."
"And the Goddess of sex, desire, beauty, fertility, prosperity, and victory, and my father was also a God for the military. This means that my mother is more powerful than my father, in a sense."
"You mean she's a goddess with more power than your father?"
"I guess you can say that."
"Your mother, Venus, wasn't she involved with Vulcan, the God of Fire?"
"He's also the God of metalworking and the forge, and he's not the one of what you mortals would say, a fictional television character."
"Oh, like Leonard Nimoy, the actor who played Mr. Spock on Star Trek?"
"Vulcan, my mother's other, is depicted with a blacksmith's hammer. Unlike myself, I carry a bow and arrow."
"Speaking of bows and arrows, Valentine's Day is a couple days away..."
"Don't you dare mention that monstrosity of capitalism where big corporations distorted my likeness into a diaper-wearing infant who wears too much blush that shoots people in the flesh part of their ass!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry about that. I didn't mean to offend you."
"If you had thoroughly read the entire book then you must know that my mother is also the Goddess of prosperity!"
"Yes, I did. In one of your chapters, you stated that your mother sold your old baby paintings that her and your worshipers had made years ago to some unmentionable corporations."
"That's in Chapter Three."
"And from what I have read that you have a half-brother named Aeneas. His father was Anchises? Aeneas was in Virigl's Aeneid, am I correct?"
"Listen, I rather not talk about my mother's other family. I know that I wrote a book about my early life and the capitalization of my name as a child, but it is February, it's the month of love and Black History."
"I love the way you used love and Black History in the same sentence."
"Well, obviously, I'm the God of Love."
"Speaking of love, did you ever hit someone by an accident and they ended up falling for someone else?"
"Brad and Angelina; I accidentally poked him with the point of my arrow while I was at a private party. He was still with Jennifer at the time. That was a mistake on my part."
"I'm sorry, Cupid, but we have to cut to commercial break. And when we get back, Cupid and I will talk about love and chocolates right after these words from our sponsors."
Word Count: 500