saying good bye to family after visiting with us.
|The excitement is mixed with a sense of sadness, even before the family arrives. Soon they will leave , back to their lives. As seniors in Florida, this mixed emotion is common. When our children visit we are reminded how marginal we have become and how much we long for family.|
There are cultures where the old are incorporated into the daily life of their children and grand children. Even in New York, from whence we come, some families have a found a way to achieve this balance.
For us, my husband and I, the transition to Florida marked the beginning of a retirement in which we became peripheral to the lives of our family.It was largely an economic decision, but our age and weary bones pulled us to a sunny state.
When the children and their children make a brief winter stopover, we are aware that it is the sun as well as the sense of attachment to us that draws them here. By moving here we have defined our place in their world, and theirs in ours.
There is the initial honeymoon of their arrival and the energies of youth that they bring. In anticipation we load the fridge, buy toys; many from the dollar store, as they will be discarded, and inform everyone we know that our family is coming; like a badge of pride..
Some three or four days later they leave. We have visited the beach, pool and parks. Thy have loaded with sunscreen,filled the apartment with noise and activities, , and now hooded and gloved they return to their busy lives and we continues, initially sadly with our much less busy life
We would not have it any other way.Well yes we would.! Rewind the clock, let us be them and our parents be us. Nut that is a wish and a memory .This is reality.