A spaceman delivers an important message to the leaders of Earth.
Beau and Jacques DuFer, twin brothers and owners of DuFer’s Roofing Company, were putting the finishing touches on Preacher Bensen’s barn when, from out of nowhere, a spaceship landed next to them. With dropped jaws and paralyzed tongues, the brothers DuFer stood transfixed, unable to move. Both watched, through bulging eyeballs, as an alien creature opened the spaceship’s hatch and climbed from its cockpit. Standing next to the brothers on the preacher’s barn’s roof, the spaceman spoke: “Is this Earth?”
Beau slowly turned to face his brother; Jacques did the same. Then, forcing their petrified necks to twist so their heads once again faced their guest, in unison with perfect diction, the DuFer’s answered the spaceman’s question: “Uh-huh.”
“Terrific. My name is Freddie. I have been sent to this beautiful planet of yours to deliver an important message. Please, if you will, take me to your leader.”
Experiencing a comfort level just north of frantic, Jacques sputtered a stuttering, “W-w-well, I-I’m th-the oldest, so I g-g-guess I’m the leader.”
Beau immediately registered his objection, “Yeah, Jacques, you may be older, by maybe three minutes, but without question, I’m smarter. No, Freddie. I’m the leader of this outfit; you can give me the important message.”
The subsequent shouting match ended when Freddie threw up his arms. “Okay you two, consider yourselves co-leaders. I’m short on time, so listen-up.”
With their mouths shut, Beau and Jacques craned toward Freddie. With squinty eyes to aid their hearing, they listened intently to the spaceman’s message. Freddie cleared his throat and grandiloquently delivered to the co-leaders of Earth the following important two word message: “Wear sunscreen.”
Jaques could not believe what he was just told to do. “That’s it? Wear sunscreen. That’s your important message?”
“Yeah,” chimed Beau. “Ya land here from who knows where to tell us to do what? If ya ain’t got any better important messages, ya can get back into your spaceship and go back to where ya came from.”
Freddie did as Beau requested and climbed back into the cockpit of his spaceship. Buckeling himself in he left the roofers with these parting words: “You have been given some life-saving advice. It is up to you to pass it along or piss it away. Good bye, Earth people.” And in a flash, Freddie was gone.
As they watched the spaceship disappear from view, Beau turned to Jaques and said, “You know, Freddie never did say why we should wear sunscreen. Do ya think we should, maybe, buy some and wear it?”
Armed with the knowledge and wisdom of an older brother, Jaques answered his brother's question: “What difference does it make if we wear it or don’t? Accordin’ to that chick from New York, what's-her-name Cortez, the world is gonna end in twelve years or days, or minutes; I can't remember for sure when she said it's gonna end, but it's endin' soon, so why worry about sunscreen?”