2004 This is for a dear friend of mine that died.. She was kind.. I miss her very much..
So many words could have been said..
Words that could have helped you..
Truths that would have let you know..
That you were never alone..
Now you are gone..
Now you are a scar that even now bleeds
My silence has become a poison
And it is killing me slowly..
I am so sorry I... I'm sorry..
If I could change it, I would
If I could have loved you... I would have
It was beyond me..
How could I love with a heart so very cold..
You saw it.. Why did you care....
Why did you love me...
I'll never forget..
Walking through that cold sanctuary, I had been robbed of all feeling..
Walking like a machine.. Until I had to look at your face...
In that moment.. no.. it is beyond words..
Their is no word for the pain I felt then..
I ran, I ran forever.. as far away as I could go..
And then farther.. I ran until the pain caught up with me
Until it blinded me with a guilt I even now carry..
I will never be rid of this guilt..
Im sorry I wasn't there to help you..
Im sorry I wasn't able to love you..
Im sorry for the pain I caused you..
Please hear me... please forgive me....