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Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2191003
Three shorts that I wrote based off of prompts that I was either given or found online.
Prompt #1: Is Kanye West Qualified to Be President?

To understand if Kanye West is qualified for the role of the presidency of the United States, you have to look at the role of Kanye in the world of fame and success. Kanye, as a person, is very ego driven and knows he can say and do whatever he wants and can get away with it. He's a multi-millionaire, married to a supermodel and has donated to various charities. He has been known for many stupid quotes and actions, including saying on a 2005 charity television special that's goal was to assist survivors of Hurricane Katrina, "George Bush doesn't care about black people." So to answer the question of if Kanye is qualified, he is as qualified as the 45th president.
Prompt #2: Chalkboard

         I can't believe someone would write such a thing on the chalkboard. When the teacher left, some kid went up to the chalkboard and wrote this... I can't even word it, it was so obscene. Of course, the teacher walks back in and she sees the obscene quote. First thing you hear is, "Okay, class, who wrote this offensive material onto the chalkboard?"
         Then you hear some kid say, "It isn't a chalkboard, it's a wipeboard."
         "Who wrote the offensive material on the wipeboard, then?"
         "It was the Canadian kid."
         The Canadian kid proceeds to look up from their book.
         "Sorreh, what?"
         "Eric, did you write this message on the board?"
         "I know nothing aboot that message, eh."
         The teacher gave Eric the look of, 'I've got my eye on you.' She eventually erased the message and continued her lesson, as the troublemaker of the class started laughing.
         "What's so funny," asked the teacher.
         "I can't believe the Canadian kid actually got away with that message about maple syrup."
Prompt #3: Tinder Tale

         It was a dark and dreary night. A man by the name of Archie was lying in his bed, feeling the dread of loneliness, the sorrow of social anxiety and the downness that comes with depression. Archie picked up his phone to use the dating app Tinder. He was doing his standard affair of swiping right with the occasional swipe to the left. He hated that he had to use the app Tinder, since just a week ago, he was with the best girl in the world. A girl by the name of Elizabeth.
         The two met in an Irish pub during an 80s Party night. Archie went with a few friends to this pub. He wore a very loud Hawaiian shirt. The pub was doing a karaoke contest and Archie knew he had to participate. He got up and asked if he could sing Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard. He was eventually called up and he had a wonderful performance that won him second place in the contest. But that is besides the point. The point is, Elizabeth was also at this party. And she loves Def Leppard. She watched this man basically pour his heart out into a karaoke performance. She had to go up to him.
         "Hey, that was a really sexy performance," said Elizabeth.
         "Uh, thank you," said Archie, awkwardly.
         "No problem."
         "Um, hi. My name is Archie."
         Archie extended his hand out for a handshake. Elizabeth laughed.
         "Hi Archie. My name is Elizabeth."
         Elizabeth shook his hand. Archie felt a huge rush. Archie wasn't exactly the luckiest with girls. He's had a few girlfriends, sure, but he hasn't had a long relationship. And he could tell that this girl liked him. The two got together shortly after and they dated for over a year. Archie thought of proposing to Elizabeth, but it wouldn't ever happen. One fateful day at the coffee shop, the two had a very important discussion.
         "Archie, I'm sorry, but we have to break up," said Elizabeth, bluntly.
         Archie was caught off-guard.
         "I'm sorry, what?"
         "Archie, I love you and all, but..."
         "Elizabeth, is it something I did? I swear, I can change, I swear-"
         "Archie, there's someone else."
         Archie went silent. He looked into Elizabeth's eyes to see if she was playing some sick joke or not. She was dead serious.
         "But Elizabeth..."
         "Archie, I'm sorry..."
         Elizabeth walked away. Archie sat in silence.
         Archie was swiping through Tinder when he saw Elizabeth on the app. He was confused.
         "I thought there was someone else," he muttered to himself. He proceeded to investigate her profile to see what it was like. He was shocked to see what her profile consisted of. Various pictures making her look out to be some... some... Archie couldn't word it. He was just shocked to see her. Did she break up with him so she could just go sleep around? If so, that's just awful. But Archie looked at it for a moment. He laughed. He started laughing. Hysterical laughter. That's all that came from Archie. He looked at his options on Tinder. Swipe Left to say no or Swipe Right to say yes. He swiped left.          


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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2191003