by almost Alice
I think you got tired witnessing the scared mess that I am that you decided to move on.
I usually don’t dream, or at least I don’t remember my dreams. But when it’s about you, I remember it and its vivid memories soak my pillows too. I pause my dreams, sometimes I hit rewind too. It’s too bad that I can’t delete because I remember every single one of them.
I’ve consumed every self-help book known to mankind about moving on and letting go. They said you have to disconnect, get away from the person, cut ties. I did those and more. But my subconscious betrays me. There’s no sign, no pattern — I’ll just sleep like I normally do, routines never changing — and then, “Bam!” there’s you in my dreams. What’s so pathetic is that my dreams are about us when in real life, US never even happened.
You came like a force and you knocked down my walls. You invaded me. I was entranced. I never allowed us. Yes, you made me feel like there should be an us, but we didn’t say it. I think you got tired witnessing the scared mess that I am that you decided to move on. It just sucked it happened when I jumped. And now I’m left with nothing but dreams of an us that will never be.