A very interesting memoir that includes screw ups, dissapointments and lots of fun!
January 1st! Happy New Year! Party, party, party! Capricorns screams the loudest in celebration as the confetti falls, party horns sound off by the thousands, drinks turned up for more drunkenness, hugs are exchanged, tongues from couples are tied and smiles and laughter cannot be avoided. All races, creeds and nationalities are together, enjoying the festivities without judgement, well, as it seems.The ball has dropped and everyone and their mothers have plans to head to the gym at the start of the upcoming week, and people are also giving up smoking as well. Ha! We all believe that, don’t we?I mean you said that same thing last year, and the year before. Have you actually been to the gym more than 20 times in a year? Have you actually quit polluting your lungs? Well, that’s not the point that I’m trying to make. Anyways, I’m out of town with friends and we rent out a few hotel rooms and we’re leaving New York in the morning to head back to Charlotte North Carolina.
A faded smile, a slurred speech, a staggering walk, a breath of alcohol, food between teeth — a belly flop onto a hotel bed would be heaven right about now. Remembering the 1982 NCAA Basketball Championship when Michael Jordan hit the game winner for North Carolina, me and my friends celebrated the new year uncontrollably wild; I wished that the party had never ended. We met a lot of extravagant people, did some daring things, ate some new foods and mouthed off to some cops. We made it to our hotel in one piece, thankfully, and we could’ve asked for more.
Just like Charlotte was named after a queen, so was my hotel bad: I named it Boudica. As beat I was mentally and physically, I could sleep forever. I didn’t think this bed could stand to keep its shape and functionality with how deep I planned to sink into it. Even the entertainment of Dave and Busters couldn’t keep me awake at this moment. I made a wish before I went to bed; I wished that all children with life threatening diseases is saved from their pains and healed for a new and improved life. For some reason I didn’t even think one second about a prayer. I don’t know why but I didn’t. Wings, steak, vodka and arcade racing appears in a sleep cloud above my head and within seconds I slumbering. Im sure my snoring is loud because anyone who usually sleeps anywhere near me complains, some even has thrown a pillow or water onto my face.
It’s sooo cold I awake within 30 minutes. Shivering like a vibrator, the heater fails to turn on as I click multiple buttons and turn its knobs. I called the front desk to put in a ticket and unfortunately there were no other hotel rooms free and no one there available to fix the heater tonight. so, I just go to the front desk to get an extra blanket and I wrap myself like a Christmas gift, alcohol influenced and tired out of mind.The TV is on. Close to fifty channels and I cannot find one program that holds my attention. I’m flipping, flipping and flipping through channels, cold, sleepy, disgusted and irritated. I just want to fall asleep and see the sunlight in the morning.
At this time, I could use some heat, some better channels, and maybe even some sleeping pills. Since a genie only grants me three wishes, I guess I would need a genie lamp as well. For some reason, my mind veered towards Harvard Business School. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because I wish my mind was a little more advanced for a better handle with this situation, maybe even wish I had a better job where I could just ditch this hotel, catch a Lyft and cruise on over to another hotel where I had zero concerns about shelling out another $120 bucks. I remembered a quote by Conan O’brien that read, “Work Hard, Be Kind, and Amazing Things Will Happen”. So, you know what I did? I put the top sheet down on that nasty hotel room`s floor and did some sit ups, and push ups, and said some kind words with every workout repetition: “It’s ok that the hotel’s heater is broke”, “If a homeless man can survive outside in colder weather, I can survive on the inside in this cold weather”, “It’ll be all over soon”, “This hotel is just amazing. One little problem does not represent the nature of this business”…And I went on and on and on. I warmed up some, became quite comfortable and fell asleep (on the floor) right in the middle of doing my sit up repetitions.
When I woke up the next morning it was 52 degrees in my room. When I saw the number 52 on my thermometer a light bulb immediately flicked on inside of my head. Fifty two- in age — is considered as the critical year, the age that many people’s lives change — https://lindadeir.com/age-52-critical-year-of-your-life/. I was connecting the critical year of age with the temperature, and because we were in a new year, I was truly convinced that I would actually follow through with my new years resolution. In previous years, I failed to quit or at least cut back on gambling at Caesars Palace in Nevada, and I never realized any signs that switched on a light bulb in my head, like the “52 connection” did. Yes, I call it the “52 connection” Maybe this belief is preposterous and just an example of my pathetic credulity. But, really, I can only be strong at this point and try extremely hard to successfully allocate my hard earned money to other avenues, versus blowing a huge chunk of it on slot machines, blackjack tables and Russian Roulette. Then, maybe, I’ll have a lot more currency to spend towards renting out another hotel room at an entirely different hotel when I need to.
What a happy new year for me and my friends! We celebrated a day of a new beginning and I could’ve asked for a better experience. I threw up three times, kissed three women strangers, lost a 50 dollar bill, ate cold soup, climbed a tall wire fence — and got my foot caught within the fence holes (fell on my face) — and stepped in dog crap. Oh, and I slept on the floor of a hotel room that was almost as cold as the New Year”s freezing winter night on the outside. It was an awesome night of fun with friends that kept our laughter alive and if only I knew how to fix a hotel heater, while drunk, I would have definitely had the perfect New Years Day. But, hey, its ok, I’m alive and I’m headed back home where I’m sure the heater works very well.