This is just a peek into the daily life, of one who battles everyday, demons in real life.
|I live my life scared to speak,
Fearing my own words.
I know that time will not be kind,
If I dare speak of my world.
I live under false personas,
Pretending I’m not afraid,
Concealing my thoughts of fear and dread,
That haunt me every day.
There are those who hurt me,
If I even dare to look their way,
And more still who say they’ll kill,
If I even utter their name.
The thought of their attention,
Sends shivers down my spine.
I wish that I could hide away,
But it's me they always find.
I know that it is stupid,
I could just speak out.
But what happens when I try to speak,
Makes my mind go mad with doubt.
You can't comprehend the panic,
That no one would understand.
That those you tell would just ignore,
And you’ll be left for dead.
These people rule my life,
Controlling my every move.
They obtained this power over me,
After countless years of abuse.
The darkness I battle daily,
Always wins out the light.
Despair hangs low wherever I go,
And I’m but a shadow of myself.
I live my life scared,
Scared to speak and live.
I try to hide what’s inside,
Because it’s what they love to kill.
I feel so empty,
Drained of all I loved.
Each time they crush my will to fight,
And my will to live.
It’s hard to understand,
If you haven’t felt the pain.
It teaches you that you’re worthless,
And are only meant for their gain.
From their first offence,
Down to their very last,
I’ve harbored fear, and loss, and pain,
But have never been able to speak out.
I live my life afraid.
It’s always been this way.
I cannot not speak, nor sleep, nor eat.
As fear rules supreme.
An abuser is one who feeds on fear.