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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2195208
by Neil
Rated: ASR · Poetry · Tragedy · #2195208
Describes the night my best friend died and the lasting effects both positive & negative.
My vision was blurred and my gate was clumsy
Those beers sure did a job on me
Jim said “Lets go”, and opportunity knocked
If only I had known what was to be

“The keys are in it Jim... lets take it for a ride”
But his face said what I should have known
“No”...but I was having none of this
Time for some peer pressure to be shown

“Don't be a pussy Jim!!”
And a look came to his eye
I had challenged his honour
“Ok” he said, but I had no idea of the tears I would cry

My smile was intense but his silence said it all
An unwilling passenger just along for the ride
With no idea where to go I just followed the path
Bringing us to our fate like being caught in the tide

He did one last thing before his life came to an end
Perhaps he thought that I was driving too fast
I can still remember it all like it was only yesterday
Although nearly forty years have now passed

As we drove along that cold and lonely road
Jim leaned over and across my chest
My seat belt was then snapped into place
Why for me but not for himself...that is anyone's guess

I saw flashing lights ahead as our destiny approached
A broken down car in the emergency lane
Time and motion slowed as we slid across that road
Hitting an embankment....rolling over and over again

I was hanging by the seat belt Jim had secured
Jammed from the impact along with the hissing and smell of fuel
I looked for him but he wasn't there
Who lives and who dies and who makes these unfair rules

The enormity of the situation I could not bear
Overwhelmed by grief and the reality that he had died
I prayed to God every night, “God please take me instead”
Wishing it was just bad dream and we could once again be side by side

But prayers are only answered for those who deserve
So I decided to join him....but the attempt failed
Forty years ago but I still feel the pain
Still wondering about his act and what exactly it entailed

Was it me or was it fate that took him that night?
Crying tears of sadness, regret and shame
If I had not said to him what I said that night
Was it peer pressure that was to blame?

I still ask myself why he did what he did
Saving my life but not saving his his own
A question that was never going to be answered
Until one day two babies came along

Twin girls so small that they looked like dolls
And as I held them for the very first time
It dawned on me why Jim had saved my life that night
And why he had sacrificed his own

Because if there was any change in our past
Our present would not be here at all
I would never have held those babies
Or watched on as they grew so tall

When they were old enough I told them about Jim
And the sacrifice that he made so they might live
The respect we have for him is immeasurable
With all the love in our hearts that we could give




© Copyright 2019 Neil (struggle2bherd at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2195208