|I hear it as a litany;
a litany denouncing my lies.
Her happiness, a request given
Tell her mother, a small white lie,
yet I see a grayer shade
with a tinge of black.
(Just tell her we can have a baby)
I know in my heart this is the beginning
of the crumbling.
We have not even begun to build the
of trust and love.
Already she smiles
as the words escape my lips.
Exuberant in the happiness and hope
she sees in her mother's eyes,
she does not see the shadow cloud over mine.
(Just tell her everything will be ok)
Her mother hugs me knowing her fears of
the disease that could kill her grandchildren
have washed away.
My love smiles from ear to ear in shared joy knowing
her true diagnosis is finally safely locked away.
(Just convince her there is no risk)
I hug her back as the light inside me shuts off.
(Just make her happy)