Hindsight is 20/20 yet foresight almost blind? Ignoring what we know and hoping 4 change.
|I saw it coming...like a train, unmistakable and unstoppable.
We had been out the night before and I had bought pills at the club we had been...Snowballs. Someone had told me later that night they were shit. I had put them in my pocket but with the bad news about their lack of strength, I thought I would save them for later, desperately seeking one last high before sleep.
We arrived home and I laid on my bed, and then I remembered them. They had been crushed by the night's antics...two pills...just a small amount of powder in a tiny little bag and they were not very good anyway. So I necked both hoping that I would at least feel something...H and his girl L had gone to their room to fuck. The house we lived in had thin walls and I could hear them going at it when something incredible happened. A bright golden ball appeared in front of my eyes, floating a couple of feet in front of me. Then I felt tingling that began in my toes, rising up through my entire body and when it reached my head my brain exploded with pleasure in a beautiful halo caused by a massive release of serotonin and endorphins. My hands went to my face and then I ran my fingers fingers over my scalp and...OMG. I had never experienced anything like this, my whole body was alive, buzzing with an energy of sexual pleasure that I liked... a lot.
Then my door opened and H came in, he looks at me and says, “Holly fuck." I couldn't speak, overwhelmed by what was going on in my brain and body. His decks were set up in the room outside mine and he went and put on some tunes. L had come out of their room and was sitting in front of the decks and I came out of my room and sat beside her, He played this track...trance...the intro was a male's voice harmonising and hypnotic, deep, sorrowful, African....and I began to cry, sobbing uncontrollably. L was confused, and she asked H what was wrong with me. He knew I was so off my head and that these things sometimes happened, but the truth was 5 years of friendship, of love for this man who I had called brother was coming to an end. And like a train rolling in, there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.
We had met Kevin at the party where I had bought the 2 Snowball's. He was fun, dancing with us all night...another kindred soul for all things dance. He and H had hit it off and I knew I was looking at my replacement.
The cracks had started to appear in the weeks and months previous...H was an Alpha male and I was happy to be by his side, his personal assistant and sidekick. He knew everyone, and everyone knew him. We weren't just raver/DJ buddies either, we were also Mauy Thai fighters and trainers. On the weekends we danced and got high we were brothers, but we were not stable mates and there were numerous occasions where we were on opposing sides of the ring, with fighters from our respective clubs matched up...it was our sport and it never caused us any strain. He was head trainer for his club, I was assistant trainer at my own. Then one day H asked me to co-train him (His father had trained him his whole career but doing pad work was becoming more difficult for him) and do his pad work. A pad man (which is the term for the job i did with fighters) is a highly skilled and dangerous job, especially when the guy who is throwing punches, shin kicks, knees and elbows at you is of the calibre of H...I was flattered that he would consider me but there was a problem. I was already employed with my own club, and my trainer was not a man I would ever go against if he didn't grant me permission. He was fearsome and not just that I was loyal. So I asked, and although unhappy about at first, after some tense moments he agreed and I became H's pad man/trainer. We had two wins, both for world titles before he announced his retirement from kick boxing.
It began with differences of opinion and a few small arguments. I knew what was coming so I moved out to house-sit for friends, and he and Kev became besties and we drifted apart. That's how it goes in life, nothing ever lasts so enjoy the moments while you can.
Kev's Grandfather had died and left him an inheritance. I have no idea how much but I knew H and he was going to extract as much from him as possible...H loved his coke..I hated the shit....(loved the feeling but hated who I became..arrogant, self absorbed and a total wanker) ...they began to deal and it didn't take long for the profits and Kev's inheritance to disappear up both of their noses...Never mind.