Blog on Sept 1 2019
|Checking in at 10:11 pm
I'm a few days from having a very short hair cut. I think that the art of cutting hair could be a difficult thing to master so I guess it's my fault. I gave into this idea to get it cut short to get all the dry ends off. I have been dyeing my hair frequently due to feeling angst. I had it blonde for a while, and before that it was a nice shade of red, and then before that it was dark. I also wanted to get a blonde colour because I do have grays coming in at the sides of my face and it looks rather odd to have grays and the dark hair. I think it looks good to be blonde and I feel as though I've released some sort of girly meme for me and I prefer it to the rather sober dark hair meme.
I've noticed that I look more cheerful with blonde hair. The dark hair seemed to be a bit more ageing too. If women only yielded to whims of fancy they could be happier and the blonde thing does help to cheer me up. I think that it might be somewhat of a shock to some of those who have not seen me as a blonde. But these people will have to get used to it. I won't get dark any time soon!
The day was not that bad, although it rained a bit in the morning. I went out for some coffee and wrote on my ms for a couple of hours. Then I went to the bookstore to see if they had that lovely croissant and coffee. But I got there too early as they open later on Sundays. A friend of mine from Italy dropped by and we had a nice chat. He said he's not sure what to do with his life. He doesn't like Italy now and he wants a different type of job from his current one. He's an oncologist and well, I told him he needed to have a more cheerful job than that. An oncologist's job is rather a fruitless one, in my opinion. One can get bogged down with trying to find a cure for the cancer and it isn't going to be always sure that cancer of some type will ever get anybody to heal. All one can do is pray for the person and well, it could happen but I don't know if an oncologist with that sort of sympathetic soul could be happy in this job. I guess that some people like that like to report and write papers to submit to some big journal and schmooze with their colleagues over some conference. But well, when one comes down to assessing the day's work what does it all mean?
I didn't talk about it with this man but I think people have to decide what their jobs are and whether they're happy enough. I guess one has to weigh the pros and cons, and stuff. I am so distracted with . my Dog Max. He's in a rare mood. Barking up a storm. Even when I tell him to be quiet he barks back. I guess he's not a happy dog. Not anyone else is tonight!
I am so sad about some things and I can't say what things. I think today was on the whole ok enough. I don't know what tomorrow will be like. I wrote on my Bullet Journal my plans for the next three days. I can't remember what I wrote - but I think I wrote that I wanted to clean and then I needed to call the Sheriff's office because they wrote and said I was overdue on paying my taxes. I thought that I was somehow not there on record as having taxes to pay but I realized that the website for the taxes was the wrong one - I had gone to the IRS.gov instead of the Indiana revenue website. So I need to call the Indiana Revenue people to sign up for paying an installment. The website said that if I owed over $1000 they can work out a 2 year payment plan and if it's more than $5000 then more months to pay it back. The other thing would be I need to clean the house so that the realtor who wants to come by can give their assessment of how much the house will be worth on the market.
I have been feeling depressed and I don't have any real recourse. I can't afford the Dr visit and I am going to be placing myself in God's hands. I am trying to find a job that will give me a good insurance. But that is taking a while. I hope that I could at least get a temporary job which I can use on my resume to get a more stable job.
I need to get off here. I feel rather ill.