by Roland King
Fictional newspaper article (lots of Stephen king easter eggs for you fans out there.)
Stephen King Convention Spooks Sacramento 10/4/19
It's a who's who of Stephen King character cameos and frightful fanatic fun in Sacramento this October! Unbeknownst to the inhabitants of California's capitol city, the first annual Stephen King Convention, snuck into town under the cover of darkness last night. A skeleton crew worked through the entire night shift to set up the Sacramento Convention Center for this spectacular event. Typically, these venues play host to cosplayers and superfans alike. But at this convention it's not costumes...it's the actual characters!
The master of suspense himself (King) was not available to comment regarding how he was able to put this amazing event (populated by his own fictional characters) together, but Annie Wilkes, a self-proclaimed "#1 fan" of Mr. King gave us a rather detailed explanation. She stated: "Well, first he took all of our names and wrote them on scraps of paper. There was something about this 'Chud' ritual he had to complete. Then he took a dreamcatcher and waved it over the fire, then talked about some big giant beams and something about a turtle and a bear. And the poof! Here we are! It is so exciting to be here!" Ms. Wilkes did not comment further as she ran screaming after Mr. King who briskly happened to be walking by.
What are some of the events that can be expected by fans in the upcoming weekend full of festivities? Presiding over all events as MC will be Randall Flagg. He'll be hosting such events as a full panel discussion with all the spirits from the Overlook Hotel. Other panels include the Ka-tet panel featuring Jake Chambers, Eddie and Susanna Dean as well as the one and only Roland Deschain. Fans will also be able to join Roland in an interactive line dancing event where he will be leading all participants in the famous come-come-commala dance.
Vendors will include themed merchandise booths including one led by renowned vendor Leland Gaunt, who when interviewed stated he has something fans “will absolutely need.” Fans will also see an antique furniture booth courtesy of Barlow and Straker.
Participants from today’s festivities have already provided vivid pictures via social media. Many fans have already started a #pennywisespotted game in which they try to snap photos of the elusive clown.
For the motor vehicle enthusiasts amongst Stephen King fans, there is a famous vehicles exhibit including a 1958 Plymouth Fury lovingly entitled “Christine,” a mysterious 1953 Buick Roadmaster that has taken quite a few hapless fans by surprise as well as a group of rather aggressive 18-wheelers.
Local law enforcement has had some concerns regarding potentially dangerous situations as some of the special guests are not exactly the most stable individuals. “We do not want any mysterious disappearances here. We have multiple trans-dimensional portals at this conference. This is not the ideal security situation.” Despite these concerns, fans seem to be having a rollicking good time. When this reporter asked one fan who appeared to be growing fangs as to how they felt about this issue, they replied, “Dude! Who wouldn’t want to be bitten by a Stephen King vampire?!” after which he went chasing a man dressed up as the famous Father Callahan.
Needless to say, this weekend's festivities will surely be an event to remember for Sacramento. Tickets start at $19 dollars and can be purchased by attendants at the front gate.
Reporter: Roland King