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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2205961
by Gita
Rated: E · Non-fiction · Experience · #2205961
I'm so fed up with salesmen who phone and waste my time with sales talk, that I ...
GUTTERS ON SPECIAL

Monologue


"Gutters on special?

"How wonderful! Oh, yes, that sounds like an excellent offer, and I do need new gutters for our farm.

"Sure you can come over to measure, but not this week. How about the first Tuesday of next month, at 9 in the evening? My husband will be home.

"Of course, I understand. But unfortunately that's the time my husband gets home. He's in charge of home improvements and I know he'll want to have a discussion with you.

"I'm afraid not. He's too busy to talk to you from work...

"So can you make it at 9 pm?

"Wonderful. I'm so grateful to you!

"The address? I don't know whether there is an address, but I'll explain to you how to get there.

"Take the T1 South and travel for about two hundred and fifty kilometers. When you reach the road going off
to the right, don't take it. Carry on for another, say, ten kilometers, and when you see an old barn on the left,
turn right. Five kilometers later you'll see a big farmhouse with a red roof. Continue past this farmhouse until you
reach a T junction. At the junction travel for about twenty-five kilometers until you see an avenue of pine trees on
the right, leading to a farm. The next farm on the right is ours. You'll recognise it easily, because it's painted pink.

"Got that?

"Oh, that reminds me... We need pink gutters, to go with the farmhouse.

"No, they have to be pink!

"Absolutely not! We will not paint them. If you haven't you got pink gutters, then can you place a special order for them?

"That's a great pity...

"Anyway, we look forward to seeing you on the first Tuesday of next month, and my husband will make a decision. He might go for blue. Don't you think that blue would also suit our pink walls?


"What?

"I'm
wasting your time?

"Don't you realise that every salesman who phones me with a sales pitch like yours wastes my time?

"My conversation with you was simply tit for tat, you see.

Good day!"



360 words






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