I never believed in miracles but now I do
|This is the first time ever in my life that I am trying to write. I decided to write because I have encountered so many positive changes, that I wanted to share them with as many people as possible.
Throughout my life I have had many fears. Fear of falling sick ( I suffer from chronic pancreatitis), made me NOT to opt for international job offer that I could have taken. Fear of not being smart enough, made me go into the good books of people by hook or by crook. Fear of not being able to handle stress and health simultaneously, made me quit jobs that I could have pursued and probably have been happy. I have been so fearful of everything that I forgot to live my life. I have been so full of regret and self hate that I never realised how much harm I am causing myself.
Because of my chronic pancreatitis, I always worried if the same problem will genetically be transferred to my baby or not. I did many DNA tests and spent a lot of money on them, but all tests were inconclusive. Then I left everything on God ( Yes, I believe in God) and thought to have a baby. I was trying since long and tests were majorly negative. So this particular month I didn't give any special attention to it.
And this is when I would say, I started experiencing fearlessness in me. I started having a positive outlook about everything. I applied to five different jobs and got rejected by all, at the last stage. This was a big setback because the recruiters were giving me a positive feedback. But you know what, I didn't feel bad, instead I said to myself - "May be there is something good for me in the store and that's why I am getting rejected". This is a big change for me and far away from where I have always been. And this is just a single incidence that I am mentioning, the whole time till now has been full of such positive moments. :)
I would like to end here by saying - I never believed in miracles. I always thought they are some kind of excuses given by people. But my pregnancy has made me believe in "MIRACLE" as it has turned my character from a self hating one to a self loving one. Now I look at situations in a positive way even when it is difficult to think of any positive outcome from that situation. So from now on, I am going to make conscious efforts to have a positive outlook all of the time because I have seen the impact of postive thinking. :)