Whimsical, with a serious theme
|"I've always viewed people as like apples and oranges. They're different kinds of fruit, but they're worth about the same."
"When you talk about "people" you're talking about a huge number of beings, and there are startling differences between them. No one can tell me a tramp is as good as a brain surgeon."
"Could be the brain surgeon beats his wife, and performs unneeded operations just for money, and the tramp goes home every night and works on a great novel that will enlighten humanity."
"This is unlikely, and even if the tramp is writing a great work of literature, do you think that's as good as saving the life of a child who might grow up and be a great writer too?"
"We don't know a person's secrets. I'm just saying that the tramp might be a genuine and likable person, and the brain surgeon might be impossible to tolerate outside of the operating room."
"So the off hand judgements we make of other people really aren't worth much."
"Let me tell you about Cheetah McGee."
"Who in the world is that?"
"He's a bum that hangs out by the railroad tracks drinking whiskey all day."
"Don't try to tell me he is as good as a brain surgeon."
"At one time he was a brain surgeon. Brain cutters from all over came to watch his technique."
"I don't know if I can believe that. Have you ever seen a heavy drinker? They're easy to like from a distance, but when you get near them they stink. Okay, so don't try to tell me he is a great writer. No one is that talented."
"He's written books highly respected by the critics and loved by the public."
"I bet he got addicted to morphine and had to be kicked out of his profession."
"No. As soon as his hands started to shake he resigned from surgery."
"Well okay. Then at one time Cheetah McGee was better than 99.9 percent of the people on this planet."
"Except that now he is the sickest bum you can imagine."
"He got picked up by space aliens."
"What? Do you have any proof of this?"
"No, but I still believe him. Space aliens picked him up."
"Why did that destroy him?"
"He said that the space aliens were so much better than us that we could never be their equals. He said they were watching us to see if we were so stupid that we had a nuclear war and destroyed all life on the planet. Then, if we passed that test, they would give us the technology to make a truly enlightened civilization."
"This is a lot to take in. Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I am an alien in disguise. We destroyed our planet with giant gamma ray guns in a civil war this morning. We need the earth's help if we are going to survive."