by Paul D
Trumpet to the rescue.
|Trying to fit into some jogging shorts and failing; these size labels are without question 'fake.' If I'm gonna run for Precedent, I needed to look the part and ordered a larger size shorts, and I will change out the label because size matters.
It was by popular acclaim that I was recruited to run for Precedent. Emails were sent to joggers everywhere asking for support. The overwhelming positive response set me on this course.
On the day of the race, a taxi awaited me. I ran to its open door and got inside. The ride to the end of the race was a tiring one. All the stop and go of traffic as well as lights frustrated me. Winning this race mattered to me, and I'd do whatever it took to be number one.
I played golf with Putin. When puttin', if the ball went off course, one of his helpers would direct the ball to the hole. I marveled at the simplicity of directed golf.
I was accused of racism, which was non sense. Every race I entered I won. People were jealous of how I'm such a good racist.
Lately, I've been improving the Republican party, bringing it back to its roots in the stone age. From all the grunts and moans, I am succeeding.
It is great being Trumpet because I can blow my horn, and people will follow me – even into the sewer. I love it in the sewer where it smells so great, and I can play with rats all day. I hope next term to move the White House there.
Well, I gotta go. The house is trying to give me peaches. I don't like peaches. I'd rather have nuts, which have filled most of the cabinet posts.
Don't forget my new slogan: Trumpet forever.