had a sad night, and began to write.
|Every day gets a little harder.
With every breath, I die a little more.
Every word I speak is eventually silenced,
And every thought fades.
Crying fixes nothing on the outside,
But it calms everything within.
The tears represent sadness,
But the screams let out repressed emotion.
The emotions repressed are usually positive,
Not wanting myself to feel good inside,
Because soon it will go away.
Isn’t it better to feel none of it at all?
Tonight I cried again,
Like I do most nights.
Feeling hopeless is sometimes the only feeling I have.
And it doesn’t feel good.
Feeling hopeless means you have no hope.
No hope for the future, nor hope for the present.
The past you experienced was lacking the joys
That hope placed in the right hands, brings.
The love you might have felt has faded.
Or worse, not gone away.
Feelings are weird, strange and hard to understand
Which makes humans much the same.
Sleeping brings forth the repressed emotions,
Dreams playing them out for your brain.
Are they sweet and happy?
Or are they filled with death and decay.
Most optimists would say that you can choose these thoughts,
Most pessimists would disagree.
I think that they are somewhere in the gray area.
Just like my thoughts tonight, and me.