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Rated: E · Prose · Comedy · #2218747
People say the darndest things!

"My Cujo could eat your purebred dust mop in one bite," he muttered savagely.

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"Lets open all the curtains!" she suggested brightly.

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"You gotta re-lace you bike wheel," he spoke brokenly.

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But I have to keep drinking, I'm an alcoholic," she whined endlessly.

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"I can't believe you pass this stuff off as cocaine," he snorted skeptically.

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You'll never solve the secret of my chastity belt," she smiled inscrutably.

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"I'll help you finish that sandwich ma'am," he offered heroically.

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"I'm so hungry I could eat a worm," she said peckishly.

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"Whoa there, easy girl, it's just a cold," he whispered hoarsely.

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"I want a trial separation!" she snipped dismissively.

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"Drink up, ye scurvy dogs!" he slurred groggily.

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"You never bring me flowers," she sighed lackadaisically.

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"No, I haven't put my affairs in order," he admitted unwillingly.

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"Go ahead, try my hollandaise," she suggested saucily.

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"I had to replace that damaged headstone," he remarked gravely.

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"You're all invited to my piano recital," she announced grandly.

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"Who cares if I forgot the milk," he sighed listlessly.

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"Can two specialists disagree, yet both be correct?" she wondered paradoxically.

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"You're suing me? Well, two can play that game!" he retorted.

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"Let's turn the mattress," she suggested flippantly.

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"I'm inclined to relax and take it easy," drawled the lazy boy.

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"What will we do when the baby comes?" she asked expectantly.

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"Glad ye're back on board Cap'n," beamed Scotty cheerfully.

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"I really don't want a cat!" she insisted doggedly.








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