Here's chapter two from Another Small Bang, that will bring everyone plenty of good laughs
|Time Brings Humor to Everything
One thing can be said about a lot of these true stories, and that is it's certainly true that these are stories. My experience working at the good old Widget factory is a lot like what a geologist does, and that is I won't take anything for granite around here. Of course geologists also like to listen to rock music, and I do too, so maybe we have a lot in common after all. Some of the things that you can't take for granite around here is that you can't loan Little Henry any money, because he always gets amnesia when it comes time to pay it back. Lately, Little Henry has been concerned whether his pet turtle is going to be naked or homeless if it loses its shell. Then again he has also been concerned about his reflection staring back at him a lot now too. Along with Little Henry there's also a plethora of other activities happening right here at the widget factory.
For example the Widget factory uses old pallets to put their widgets on. These pallets come from all over the place, and they have all kinds of trash and debris stowed away in them. Some of these stowaways are alive as Meech discovered one night. What happened to Meech that night wasn't funny at the time, but she can laugh at it now years later. Usually inside of the pallets you find a bunch a trash, like paper and old empty widget packages. This pallet was different and there was a nest with a mother and her baby rats inside of it. The rats got on Meech when she tried to stack the pallets up, and that's where the action began. As the screaming started it certainly wasn't funny then, but Meech is laughing about it now.
One day while working on his car Little Henry got stuck under his car when his pony tail got somehow twisted around one of the creeper wheels. With nobody around to help he had to fend for himself. Little Henry had to cut off his pony tail, and pink scrunchy with an old pair of wire snips that he had in a compartment on the side of his creeper, so that he could get out from under the car. So from that day forward he never grew his pony tail back. That wasn't funny to little Henry back then, but it certainly is now.
Another one of my very interesting, and unique co-workers is my little buddy Udo. On a cold autumn day Udo also wasn't laughing much when he got locked out of his car when his car battery died. He couldn't open his door using the car's remote control. So Udo decided to walk to a store about a half a mile away and buy himself a Slim-Jim to break back into his car. After he returned with the brand new Slim-Jim someone explained to Udo that he had to do was use his key to get into his car. Using his key is what Udo chose to do in the end, and now Udo even sees the humor in this little story.
Mr. Know-it-all wasn't laughing when he took out a two foot section of a water line with a forklift. The dirty nasty smelling water spraying out of the broken pipe was so bad that it flooded out a good portion of the warehouse, maintenance shop, rest rooms, and the water even started flowing out onto the Widget packaging floor. Everything had to be shut down for hours on end, while a big clean up took place. So what does Mr. Know-it-all do to add fuel to the fire? Instead of admitting that he made a simple mistake he files a complaint. I doubt that will go very far and float with the management. I thought I would put the floating part with management in this story since it involved so much water. It wasn't funny to him then, but the really funny question that all of his co-workers still have is what the heck does he have to complain about! It will probably never be funny to Mr. Know-it-all.
Finally there's the story about Stinky being invited to come on down to the H.R. department for a little talk. Everybody including Stinky himself was very curious about what that invitation was all about. It turned out that Stinky's fellow employees have identified him as a powerful source of methane gas. His fellow co-workers say that a NASCAR pit crew doesn't pour out as much gas as Stinky does. So the company thought that if they could somehow capture this free source of energy, then they could maybe possibly power parts of the Widget company. Stinky couldn't believe his ears when they ask for Stinky's suggestions. Stinky stood up and stormed out the door mumbling some nonsense about you can teach a man to fish, bla bla bla, but you can't teach a man to throw a fish back, bla bla bla. When he got back out onto the Widget company plant floor everybody was laughing at him. It turns out that it was all just one big practical joke that everybody planned in secret, and in the end, unlike Mr. Know-it-all, Stinky even had to laugh.
Click on picture to collect