Here's chapter 8 from Another Small Bang, that will bring everyone plenty of good laughs
|The New Hat
It was really a very cold rainy November day, so everybody and their mother were inside of the warm break room today for break time. At the big table Stinky was eating a healthy portion of Kentucky fried chicken with buttered mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, cornbread and some greens. Stevie looked at all of Stinky's food and said, "Ain't that a lot of starch?" Stinky said, "Aw, no Stevie I'm eating. I'm not ironing." Sparky said, "Yummy! All starched food isn't bad, unless you have an issue with diabetes. I've even heard that potatoes are considered the new Prozac!" Stevie said, "Mmmmm, now I want some of that corn bread." Sparky said, "Me too." Stinky then started to divide up his corn bread.
Stinky handed Sparky and Stevie each a small piece of cornbread. Stevie set the cornbread next to his Tomato sandwich that he was preparing. He spread a good helping of good old Duke's Mayonnaise onto his tomatoes. Sparky looked at Stevie and said, "Why don't you just use Miracle Whip? It taste better." Stevie said, "Duke's Mayonnaise is the secret to great food." Sparky said, "Not where I come from." Stinky said, "Excuse me, you both come from the same place, which is here!"
Meanwhile it was chip and dip day at the Widget factory, which also contributed to the rather big break room crowd. Boo Boo was sporting a brand new hat with her name on it today, while she helped herself to a handful of salt and vinegar potato chips. Little Henry approached the chip and dip station, in the middle of the break room, for a healthy helping of chips and dip. Boo Boo was already there sporting her new hat. Actually Boo Boo prefers now to be called Boo Boo. Her last name is actually Money, and she went through her entire life with people making fun of her last name. It all started in Elementary school with other children calling her small change.
Little Henry looked at Boo Boo's new hat and said, "What did you do Boo Boo go out and have a custom-made hat with your name on it created personally for you?" Boo Boo shook her head and said, "No Henry, it's the name of the company that makes the hat." Little Henry reached his big fat stubby fingers deep into the potato chip bag helping himself to as many potato chips as he could possibly grab. Boo Boo then said, "Did you wash your hands first before sticking them into that potato chip bag Henry?" Little Henry in a low voice said, "Yeah." Boo Boo looked down at his hands and said, "It doesn't look like it Henry." Little Henry then said, "Well I did." Boo Boo said, "Then let me smell them." Little Henry said, "No! Who exactly do you think you are Boo Boo, the potato chip police?"
Stinky and the rest of the gang said, "Let Boo Boo smell your hands Henry." Little Henry said, "Mind your own business." Stinky and the gang said, "It is our business if you are sticking your dirty hands into the community potato chip bag." Little Henry said, "Fine." sticking his hands in Boo Boo's face. Boo Boo said, "Alright they smell kind of clean." Everybody in the break room broke out into a big applause because little Henry finally washed his hands. Little Henry fussed at everybody taking his chips and dip with him outside to the quiet smoking hut, so he could eat in peace.
A short time later Stinky, Sparky, and Stevie arrived at the smoking hut to find little Henry just as happy and as proud as a peacock is for his colorful feathers. Little Henry was sitting in the far corner of the hut finishing up the last little bit of his chips and dip, and the three of them took a seat and lit up their full flavored Marlboro cigarettes in the opposite corner. No one was talking and then all of a sudden with no advanced notice little Henry yelled "Did you hear that?" All three of them replied, "Hear what?" Little Henry said, "I've been hearing noises that whole time that I've been sitting out here." Sparky said, "It's all in your head Henry." Little Henry said, "I'm not crazy." All three of them laughed and said, "Okay Henry, whatever you say." Little Henry said a little bit louder, "I'm not crazy!", and then he got up and abruptly left the smoking hut to find another quiet place to finish his break alone.
To be continued ..........
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