Selma and Gordo go to their favorite store.
Selma sashayed out of the bedroom and did a twirl in front of her honey-bun, Gordo.
“Are you going to wear that?” he drawled around his ever-present toothpick.
“Sure! What’s wrong with it?”
Gordo could see his jelly bean was upset. But that never stopped him before!
“It’s a bit fancy, right?”
Selma got red in the face and put her hands on her ample hips.
“It’s been sittin’ in the back of our closet for ages, I decided today was the day I was goin' to wear it!”
“Seems like where we’re going isn’t the place for dandy duds!” Gordo reasoned.
“We don’t go nowhere I kin wear this! The Liquor Barn and Slim’s Cowboy Bar aren’t exactly places for finery either!
This is gonna be my first time back in my all-time favorite store since we bin penned in at home. At least for non-
essential shoppin’, the kind I really like to do!”
Gordo sighed. He handed his wife her camo jacket and her extra-large handbag. He grabbed his own jacket and the keys. Finally, he bent his elbow, which made Selma giggle.
“Shall we, my little chickadee?” he cracked in a great imitation of W.C.Fields’ voice.
This made his wife giggle even more. She laid the tips of her fingers on his arm and the couple walked regally out the door. When they arrived at the Harley with the one-up seat, it was quite a production to get Selma seated. The sequined dress she’d been married in had grown a little snug. Gordo finally ripped up the side seams so she could get on.
“I always did like to see a little leg when my woman dresses up,” he murmured in Selma’s ear.
Once they were both aboard, Gordo roared above the engine:
“Onward to Walmart!”