New people Old problems.
|After that all accident of falling for someone who would never notice me I thought that I wouldn't fall that easily for someone else and, I even asked myself if I would find someone that would want me as much as I wanted them. But that changed when I met Lucas. Suddenly, everything seemed fine again and I felt..free and loved by him. He was more of a bad guy and yet, he was so gentle and caring. Almost as if it was a gift from the universe or God. He cared for me and always wished me in every way. But there was something about him that was off.
Even though we knew each other for months and enchanged messages almost everyday, it seemed that he didn't want to be with me in the same way I wanted to be with him. For him was all about the action that our meetingd would involve rather than the conversation. I don't know if it was his charming face or his intense personality, but I never denied him that, unitl I thought about it. Why would I just give him a free pass for him to use me whenever he wanted, when I would text him and he took a thousand years to reply? Why would he have everything handed to his hands I couldn't have at least a converstation and not my body wrecked? So I tried to talk to him and pointed out the facts. The results of exposing my feelings and what I wanted resulted in a devasted heart once again.
It appears that he was picky with his friends and that I guet. You need to trust on the poeple around you and all that, but why would you just be with someone in a more intimate way if you didn't want to be their friends? Just because you were bored? Or maybe I was the easy target for a one night stand...
Once again I was wrecked but this time it was not only emotionally, but also physically and every sense of my body said to be with him again or whenever I had the chance, but my brain. Mt brain knew it was wrong and I should stay away from him. But how could I do that dear reader if I couldn't take him out of my head?