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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2225889-Dad-jokes
by kitty
Rated: E · Bulletin · Comedy · #2225889
its just a bunch of dad jokes. lmao
Q.) What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
A.) Anna one, Anna two!
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Q.) How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
A.) He felt his presents!
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Q.) Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?
A.) He had a reptile dysfunction.
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I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.
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Q.) Want to hear a joke about construction?
A.) I'm still working on it.
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A.) What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
Q.) 1forrest1
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Q.) What sound does a witches car make?
A.) Broom Broom
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Joke.) To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
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Q.) What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
A.) “GRRRAAAIINS!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Joke.) his graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
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Q.) What does a nosey pepper do?
A.) It gets jalapeno business!
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I tell dad jokes, but I don't have any kids. I'm a faux pa.
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Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
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Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
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Q.) What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
A.) Floss Vegas.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Q.) You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there?
A.) European.
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Q.) Why did the picture go to jail?
A.) Because it was framed.
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Q.) What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A.) A gummy bear!
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Q.) What do you call a hippie's wife?
A.) Mississippi.
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The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
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Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
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Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
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Q.) How do you make holy water?
A.) You boil the hell out of it.
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5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
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Q.) What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
A.) Roberto.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
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To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.
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Q.) What do you call a fish with two knees?
A.) A two-knee fish!
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
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The rotation of earth really makes my day.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts.
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Q.) Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?
A.) They were cooked in Greece.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!
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Q.) What's black and white and goes around and around?
A.) A penguin in a revolving door.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2225889-Dad-jokes